


five, seven

by acastle



Series: and it’s infinite [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Light Angst, M/M, Military, Slow Build, Sub-unit Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 17:58:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 34,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19817542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acastle/pseuds/acastle
Summary: Minseok sighs, reaches for his hand. Chanyeol gives it to him, and he says, “I’m old. Turning thirty in a few short months.”“What do you mean by that?” he asks, utterly confused.Chanyeol is thoroughly winded when Minseok says, “I’ll be called soon.”(Minseok enlists, Chanyeol waits, and the few months before and after.)





	five, seven

**Author's Note:**

> hello! I did not think that this storyline would ever have another part, but things happen, as they do. again, this is not real, and should never be sent to anyone mentioned. if you see a link, please listen. the song is poignant in a way that evokes a lot of which I hoped this whole work would feel like.
> 
> a prior reading of [one six zero](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13403568) would be preferred, but for a refresher: Chanyeol and Minseok had become a sub-unit known as 'EXO 160,' named after the sum of their respective EXO numbers. they became successful, then fell in love. they were emo for a little while, then just got stronger. this is their story, a year and a bit later. 
> 
> mentions of Minseok's, and Kyungsoo's, enlistments are mentioned. I also do not know how breaks work for the military, how the procedure for getting phone calls and using vacation days and such are still unknown to me even after I'd researched. thus, this will be riddled with inaccuracies. I hope you forgive them, and try to embrace this as much as you can. it is a labor of love for a story I treasure.

“Chanyeol? When was the last time you slept?”

“Ah, but I thought up of a new melody,” Chanyeol answers, staring at his computer screen, aligning the audio for the guitars he’d recorded for the rough demo of the song he’d been writing to the rest of the arrangement. “It would make a  _ great  _ title track, a really good follow-up to the last one-”

“Baby, you need to get some real sleep,” Minseok sighs at him, wrapping his arms around him and hugging him from behind, leaning down to kiss his temple gently. “Need to look nice and well rested for the video shoot tomorrow.“

“My abs and tinsel hair will speak for themselves.”

“So you  _ are  _ showing your abs?”

“Hunnie will get to  _ touch  _ them. You jealous?”

“Hmm, very much,” Minseok amuses him, and he pats his stomach with soft taps. “National treasures.”

“Like my ass?”

“Your soul, more like,” Minseok says unironically, and Chanyeol blushes, lowering his head and trying to stare at his computer and get something done, but the lines aren't making much sense. Not when Minseok is still rubbing his stomach, gentle circles full of affection. “Hmm. What happened to those songs you wrote for yourself?”

“They’re, um. There,” he says, getting even more flushed. “Not finished.”

“You haven’t shown them to the company, have you?”

“Because they’re not finished,” he whines a little as Minseok sighs again, and Chanyeol abandons his music making program, turns the chair around to look up at Minseok, pout on his face and eyes wide, trying to get him back on his side. Minseok smiles, if exasperated, but he leans down, kisses Chanyeol lovingly on his mouth. Chanyeol counts it as a win.

He reaches for Minseok’s wrist, where the softly worn, but permanent  _ ‘61’  _ is inked on him in scar colored brown, and Minseok lightly touches their logo, their  _ ‘160’  _ on Chanyeol’s wrist, small but significant among his many tattoos.

It’s been more than a year, since they’ve started. One mini-album, one full-length album, two Japanese albums, and a mostly finished Japan tour, a number of awards, a  _ ‘Song of the Year’  _ under their belt, many wins. Many more kisses, words of love, understanding, a handful of fights, and nights and days of touching skin to make up for them. Chanyeol considers himself immensely fortunate.

Love of his life, beautiful person. His best friend. Musical soulmate. 

“I brought you some dinner,” Minseok says, but Chanyeol shakes his head, making grabby hands for him and Minseok snorts, but gives him kisses regardless.

“You mean I get to have you for dinner?” he says, grinning.

“I mean kimchi stew and dumplings,” Minseok says, looking at him so warmly, so endeared, and Chanyeol just melts with him, under him.

Minseok fixes up the studio a little, clears the table to set the food on, and they eat, words comfortable between them, and Chanyeol has so  _ many  _ ideas. Hums out little tunes between bites of meat and soup and fried dumplings and rice, and Minseok gives him quiet remarks, suggestions, small praises in the form of kind words and those beautiful soft smiles Chanyeol loves so much. 

“Ah, but  _ this  _ one,” he says, singing the melody he’d had in his head for days, been attempting to translate into something a little more tangible, “Your voice in it, it would be so soft, but happy? That kind of feeling, am I making sense?”

“Warm?” Minseok provides, and Chanyeol beams, leaning forward to kiss him. “It sounds good, so far.”

“Just need help with lyrics,” Chanyeol says, blinking at him suggestively, and Minseok gives him a gentle gaze. It stays, but Chanyeol notices the almost imperceptible way his mouth goes slightly stiff, the tiniest bit troubled. It’s not something he sees often, and it concerns him enough to make him ask, “Don’t want to?”

“I do,” he says, sighing quietly and setting his food down. He turns a little so he’s facing him fully, and Chanyeol waits for him, knowing he wants to say something. “I’d like to. I want to.”

“But?” Chanyeol prods, helps him along gently. 

Minseok holds his hand. “I was waiting for a time to talk to you about something.”

“Okay,” Chanyeol blinks, but he keeps his tone patient, and scoots down to sit closer. “What is it?”

Minseok waits for a while, and he sighs, reaches for his hand. Chanyeol gives it to him, and he says, “I’m old. Turning thirty in a few short months.”

“What do you mean by that?” he asks, utterly confused.

He’s thoroughly winded when Minseok says, “I’ll be called soon.”

Chanyeol blinks. Blinks again, and his chest goes tight, and it’s not like he didn’t know that Minseok was likely to serve soon. But, the words, the confirmation, he wasn’t quite prepared.

He swallows, and it’s dead silent. The melodies floating around in his head, the lyrics and gentle words he’d been tinkering with to set to the music, words he thought of whenever he looked at Minseok, everything flies out of his mind. 

He stands, still not saying anything, still blank and processing.

“Yeol, baby, hey,” Minseok is saying softly, but Chanyeol swallows, aggressively unhungry and untired and he walks to the bathroom, and closes the door behind him. He doesn’t lock it, but he leans against the door to keep it closed. He’s not quite sure why he did, but he doesn’t know what he’d say to Minseok. Doesn’t really know what to do. 

He hears Minseok standing on the other side, coming up to the door, but he doesn’t knock. Just waits, and Chanyeol appreciates the time he’s giving him. 

He goes to the sink, bends over and stares down. Breathes, one breath after the other, and he doesn’t know how much time he spends in there, trying to get his thoughts together, but all that comes is nothing. 

He’d been. Somewhat too caught up with them. Making their music, being happy, being so gently in love, so wrapped up in a beautiful warmth and pure  _ joy _ that was hard, at times, many times, but completely  _ theirs.  _

Eighteen months, he knew, would be almost nothing in the long run. With the way he believes in them, with the way he loves Minseok, the way Minseok  _ stays  _ and believes in him and is so unselfish with his love. It is just a bit of waiting, but.

It’s still hundreds of days of being unable to talk to each other as much he’d want to, make music, being reminded to eat and rest and having late dinners in the studio with takeout. Unable to get kisses or to be held or getting to see Minseok’s smiles when he wants to. 

Hundreds of days of being without him. 

Eighteen months apart, longer than they’ve been together like this. 

The door opens behind him, and there are arms circling around his waist, holding him close.

“If you want to be alone a little longer, you can kick me out,” Minseok murmurs, pressing his chin against Chanyeol’s shoulder, “But. I just want you to know I’m here for you.”

Chanyeol doesn’t want to kick him out. Doesn’t want him far from him at all, now more than ever, and he sighs to himself, reaching down to touch Minseok’s arms, getting him to hold him tighter. 

“Is this why you were pushing me to do a solo comeback again?” he asks, trying not to sound too dejected. 

“I’m sorry, baby,” Minseok says quietly. Chanyeol feels him pressing kisses on his back, and somehow the tightness of his chest is relieved the slightest bit. 

“Don’t be. I’m overreacting,” Chanyeol says, but Minseok hums gently, refuting him. 

“You’re not. If it affects you, then I should take it seriously,” Minseok says. 

“I’m okay,” he says. Thinks about his words carefully, says, “It’s just sudden. I thought we’d have more time.”

“We do. We have time, Yeollie.”

He swallows his heart back down, and asks him, “When do you think you might go?”

Minseok pauses, and Chanyeol waits. Eventually, he says, “I haven’t ironed out the details with the company, but it would have to be around April, or May, otherwise it'd be too late. And so I’d be back by the next year.”

“That’s still eighteen months,” Chanyeol says. He tries not to be too down about it, but right now, a year and a half sounds like a long time. He’ll wait, of course he will, but still. 

“Then let’s do whatever we want, now,” Minseok tells him. He sounds so endearingly sincere, in that gentle, intimate voice he uses only with Chanyeol. And Chanyeol would give him the world, but he knows Minseok would be quietly working to give it to him first, right under his nose, the only motivation being to see Chanyeol’s face light up. 

He loves him, immensely, endlessly. Chanyeol loves him  _ so  _ much, he doesn’t have the words for it, no matter how many songs he writes about Minseok’s cheeks when he grins wide with his gums showing, or the lightness of his soul when they are together. 

Chanyeol turns around in his arms, gets his own around Minseok in turn, and lowers his face so their noses are kissing. Asks softly, if a little timidly, innocently, “Whatever we want?”

Minseok tilts Chanyeol’s chin down, kisses the corner of his mouth so gently. “I would do  _ anything  _ with you.”

The words are tender, and Chanyeol’s heart is so soothed, calmed, and kisses Minseok fully, taking every comfort he’s all too willing to give. 

“Let’s make as much music as we can,” he says, wants to hear Minseok’s voice alongside his in a treasured way, the same way he had fallen in love with him. “We sing as much as we can, even if we can’t release it.”

“Okay,” Minseok agrees easily, eyes bright. 

“Then. Let’s finish the tour with one more show,” Chanyeol says, and it had already been in the works, just scheduling and new staging and rehearsals, but with Minseok leaving, he wants it to be perfect. Perfect goodbye, temporary though it may be, perfect end to this chapter. 

“Okay.”

“Let’s include a few new songs,” Chanyeol says. He swallows, blinking back some sting in his eyes, “Some more solos.”

“Your solo songs,” Minseok provides, and it’s not what Chanyeol means.

“And some for you too,” he says, and Minseok blinks at him. “Aside from the one you’re already doing. A new one.”

Minseok looks at him, quiet, and his eyes are filmed over with wetness. Then he says, “Okay.”

Chanyeol kisses him again, pressing himself as close as he can, licking in as deep as he can, and it feels like not enough still. “You’re going to get sick of me, with everything I want to do with you.”

“Never,” Minseok says, his lips plush against Chanyeol’s, “I love you.”

“Fuck,  _ fuck,  _ I love you,” Chanyeol says. He breathes, feels his chest shake a bit, and he’s overwhelmed. It’s not a big deal. Everyone serves. It’s Minseok’s time, but Chanyeol cannot help his unwillingness to let him go, even for a moment. “Minnie. You do what you want, too. Okay? I’ll be here for you. For everything.”

Minseok takes a deep breath, and it doesn’t shudder, but the steadiness is somewhat shaken, and he says, “I don’t know what I would do.”

“You don’t have to know now,” Chanyeol says. “However mundane it might be. You have me.”

A moment, and Minseok leans in, tucking his face into Chanyeol’s neck. “Okay. Thank you, baby.”

Chanyeol holds him tight, tries not to think of the numbered days, and thinks just of him, how close he is now.

.

Minseok breaks the news to others after CBX finishes up their tour, right before the start of comeback promotions. 

“I’ll be enlisting in six months,” he says over meat. Everyone looks up from their phones, plates, the grill. Chanyeol is the only one paying attention to turning the meat carefully, and it still hasn’t been any easier to swallow, Minseok’s hand on his thigh grounds him, and he tries lifting the mood, “Minnie, you could have said this after the meat wasn’t in danger of getting burnt.”

“I took my chances, there’s a possibility of Baekhyun choking on the beef if I said it later,” he says calmly, and Chanyeol nods, because it is quite a good point. 

“Six months?” Junmyeon croaks, and Minseok gives him a soft glance. He’s blinking, processing, “You talked to the company?”

“Yeah. So, we’re planning things to do before I go,” Minseok says. “So many things. I dread the schedule.”

“I’m going to teach you how to bowl properly before you go,” Chanyeol says, turning to give him guppy air kisses, puckering his lips loudly, and he still feels weird, but the way Minseok rolls his eyes fondly makes him feel infinitely better. “Tragic.”

“Hyung,” Jongin says quietly. “But, what about the next comeback? They said, it would most probably be later? July?”

Minseok goes silent. And he looks up at Jongin, says gently, apologetically, “It will have to be the rest of you. You’ll do well.”

Baekhyun stares down at his plate, leans against Jongdae. Says, “So this is why you were working so hard. Harder than usual.”

“So you can go do your solos, properly now,” he says. Jongin is sniffing, and Chanyeol turns off the grill, unable to take the atmosphere. 

“So you’ve known, hyung?” Sehun asks Chanyeol, fixing his gaze on him, careful, questioning.  _ ‘And you’re okay with it?’  _ he says silently through his eyes, and Chanyeol tries to think about what he wants to say.

He’s, truthfully, feeling a little lonely. Minseok, for as long as they’ve been in a unit, and been together, has given him this security, this wonderful steadiness and calm he treasures, of being supported so unselfishly, and feeling lonely was something Minseok didn’t like letting him experience.

He’d been spoiled with him. But, Minseok works so hard, to make sure he’s happy, cared for, and working with him through this, and he  _ will  _ come to terms. So, he smiles, pleased that he doesn’t need to feign it too much, and he says, “We talked about it a few weeks ago. I had a tiny breakdown in the bathroom.”

“Are you okay?” Kyungsoo asks him, and Chanyeol shrugs.

“It was just surprising, is all,” he says. He looks to Minseok, and keeps smiling. “Of course I’m kind of sad, that’s over five hundred days apart, but. You know, after, once it’s done, it will be nothing. Five hundred days are nothing.”

Minseok smiles at him fondly, affectionately, and Chanyeol is tempted to lean down to kiss him, but refrains, settles with locking their fingers together beneath the table.

“So, what are you going to do?” Jongdae is asking, and Minseok looks to him. Smiles.

“Whatever we want,” he says, grinning. Chanyeol beams.

“We’re going to christen all the rooms in his apartment once it’s done-”

“Gross,” Kyungsoo mutters, turning the grill back on, going back to cooking the meat. 

“And we’re going to do an encore show for our tour,” Minseok says, “And. I was thinking, I do some last few gifts, for the fans. A song. Maybe a solo fanmeet.”

He blushes, shy, and it’s evident he’s put thought into it, and Chanyeol so desperately wants to kiss him. Instead tucks his chin on Minseok’s shoulder and nuzzles into his nape, mumbles, “I’ll stream it a million times. And I want a nice seat-”

“Standing area?” Sehun asks dryly.

“No, I don’t have as much energy as EXO-Ls, I won’t survive,” he says, “I am quite content with a nice cushy seat on a balcony with a good view of Minnie’s butt.”

“I’ll make sure it is extra plushy, then.”

“The seat or your ass?” he asks, and Minseok just smirks silently.

“Gross,” Junmyeon echoes then, clicking the tongs at them, and Chanyeol cups his face in his hands and bats his eyelashes at him, to tease. 

Minseok laughs, his hand unflinching on Chanyeol’s thigh, anchoring him down. He wants him there forever. 

.

They go through planning, rehearsals and dance practices for the final show of the tour in the midst of promoting with the rest of EXO. The final show date was announced with great clamor and confusion, the suddenness of it all, and the peculiar schedule had caught many fans by surprise, but the response had been excited, warm. 

Chanyeol works hard, as hard as Minseok is. They’d decided to include a few new songs. A Japanese song EXO 160 will release, one he and Minseok are writing together, and one more solo stage each. 

He’d gone with one of his songs from the last solo comeback he’d done, just him and his guitar, Minseok’s favorite from that album. 

Today, Minseok begins rehearsals for his new solo. Chanyeol sits down on the floor in front of the mirror, watching as Minseok stretches, and he doesn’t know what to feel about what he’s about to do. 

Sad, melancholic. Poignant, emotional for sure. 

He’d remembered the way he had felt when Minseok had brought it up during the meeting. 

“I’ve been thinking,” Minseok had said, leaning forward on the table, posture cool to everyone else, but Chanyeol could clearly see the way his fingers tightened around his arms, the stiff line of his shoulders, the slightest furrow of his eyebrows: the smallest hints of nervousness. “What if I did  _ Don’t Go?” _

Chanyeol had felt like a great big slab of concrete had slammed into his chest, then right down to his stomach. He twisted his chair the slightest bit, to hide his twitching nose and stinging eyes, but he knew Minseok could read him well, anyway. The hand he had set on his knee is warm, comforting, but still a little punishing. 

“Oh. Will that not be too much?” their director asked, and Minseok had smiled quietly, leaning back in his chair. 

“I don’t think anything else will be as appropriate,” he replied. “A softer version, maybe. Something about waiting, being patient while being apart. With flowers. It’s just an idea.”

“Everyone’s going to cry,” Chanyeol said. It’s so Minseok. Such a  _ him  _ thing to do. “It’s going to be beautiful.”

“If I do it right,” Minseok said, and Chanyeol had sniffed then. 

There was no possibility for him not to. 

So they had ironed it out. A gentle orchestral version, contemporary dance that showed Minseok’s gentle, fluid strength, and then him singing the final chorus, with flowers and butterflies and enchanting setting that was everything Minseok was. 

Chanyeol watches, keeps quiet as Minseok begins to practice to the music they had arranged, a beautiful instrumental, transitioning to the song, one they’ve been singing for years, suddenly taking a heavier, deeper meaning. Minseok moves with it, as if it were embedded in him, part of his being, motions gentle but sure, and it fills him up, watching him as he learns the choreography. It almost feels like it’s not choreographed, not planned, as if it were just the way Minseok moved, beautiful rolling motions that captivated. 

To Chanyeol, that’s exactly the way he is. 

Chanyeol can’t help but cry as Minseok begins to sing, giving his everything. His heart bursting with an aching pride, painful in the realities it’s based on, and it’s gorgeous. A perfect goodbye. 

Minseok wordlessly comes forward when the tears fall, getting down to his knees and taking Chanyeol’s face in his hands. “Baby,” he murmurs tenderly, wiping the wetness, and Chanyeol is so full of so many things he can’t really name. 

It’s painful, achingly beautiful. Minseok is perfect, and it sets heavy in his heart, that he will be leaving soon. 

“Sorry,” he hiccups, “sorry, hyung, it’s good, you’re doing so well-“

Minseok kisses his cheek, and Chanyeol holds his hands, keeps them on his face, and the whole room is suddenly facing the other way, their choreographers, dancers, managers and other staff looking away as they have a moment. It’s a room of trusted people, but Chanyeol appreciates the small privacy greatly.

“It’s painful for me too,” Minseok says quietly. “Don’t apologize. You’re doing well.”

“I told you, everyone will  _ so _ cry,” Chanyeol says tearfully, and Minseok smiles sadly, holding him, leaning such that their foreheads touch. 

.

Promotions cycle passes, end of year shows done, variety show filmed, and rehearsals continue, interspersed between other engagements, the days counting down too quickly. 

Chanyeol takes it all in, treasures every moment. Dancing together, being tired together, simply eating cold meals after practicing together, and making the music together. 

They write songs when they’re at the dorm, in the studio. Chanyeol finishes the melodies floating around in his head and gives them a more physical form, and Minseok gives him the words, the harmonies that make the songs live. 

They record many of them. Some to be released later on, when they’re both done serving. Most of them, just for them, maybe to never be heard by anyone else, and it’s alright. 

There’s one, a persistent soft rhythm that doesn’t leave Chanyeol. Not quite sad, but hopeful, a patient sound, bright and gentle. 

Minseok sings suddenly as he’s plucking the strings of his guitar to the tune, as they’re sat lazily together on the beat up couch in Chanyeol’s studio, giving him words,  _ “Drunk with this song that looks like you.” _

Chanyeol chokes on a breath, overwhelmed, and he hears the rest of the [song](https://open.spotify.com/track/7jHMvMIRLzMnEz1poJeKPo), the notes materialize in front of his eyes, and Minseok doesn’t miss a beat, his beautiful voice reaching soft heights as he sings,  _ “It’s enough to just look at you.” _

And, that is how  _ After You  _ is born, and it’s instant. 

“Shit. That’s a good song,” Baekhyun says when Chanyeol plays it for him back in the dormitory, waiting for Minseok to arrive after visiting his apartment, checking the progress. 

The architects say it will be ready within a few days. Chanyeol may be sad and head full with everything happening, but he means business about christening that place with sex. A lot of dicking down planned. 

“It’s being translated to Japanese,” he says. “Last Japanese single before. Well, before Minnie leaves. We’re planning to perform it during the show.”

“Like a gut punch,” Jongdae says. “Like  _ Paper Cuts.” _

“Ah,” Chanyeol says, pausing the track, “maybe not as sad. That would be bad, we may be the emo unit but the tears must come in moderation.”

Baekhyun gives him a look, before he sighs, says, “Well, it certainly sounds much more. Uh, what’s the word? Hopeful?”

“It reminds me of your old stuff,” Jongdae says. “When you two were first beginning. That first magic. Not that you aren’t magical now, but the purity of that first album was something else.”

“It certainly felt that way, when we were making it,” Chanyeol tells them. The magic really hadn’t gone out between them, but he understands what Jongdae means. The sound itself, the way they had completed it, naturally, from one note to another, to words flowing into phrases. It was easy, simple, intimate and true, the way their first offerings were. 

“How are things going?” Baekhyun asks him. 

“Oh. Well, rehearsals are going well,” he says. “Mostly just recall and polishing. Minnie’s working hard, I don’t have much to do for my new stage, just need my guitar, and the songs are coming along well-“

“That’s good, it all is,” Baekhyun says kindly, “But that’s not what I meant.”

Chanyeol blinks at them, not understanding, and Jongdae takes mercy on him, explaining, “We mean, how are  _ you?  _ Have things been okay with you?”

Chanyeol looks between them, and he feels a little cornered, though it’s not necessarily bad. Baekhyun and Jingdae have always been the most honest with him, the ones who’ve looked after him quietly, even though deemed the most playful most of the time.

He knows they mean well, supportive but careful and they look after each other this way, between the moments of noise and boisterousness and roughhousing. 

He is honest when he says, “I’m working through it. I don’t know how to describe how I’m feeling, but. I’m counting down the days and I just want more time.”

“And what about hyung?” Jongdae asks him. “Do you talk to him about it?”

Chanyeol pauses. “It’s nothing. I don’t want to worry him over nothing. We’ll all enlist, we all leave and come back. It’s just his turn.”

“It doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel sad over being left behind, no matter how short you might think you’ll be apart,” Baekhyun says, and for all his usual lightness, his words run deep. 

And Chanyeol is all too aware, five hundred days isn’t short. That’s two of his birthdays, and one of Minseok’s. And he doesn’t want to think about it more than he has to. 

“You should talk to him,” Jongdae says.

“He has enough on his plate,” Chanyeol says. “I’ll get over it.”

“The last time you tried to get over it by yourself, you moved out of your room with him to sleep in Jongin’s room for a week until Minseok had to sit you down in the bathtub and tell him what was bothering you,” Baekhyun snorts, and it’s not a particularly delightful memory. That had been a hard week. He cried a lot in the bathtub, and Minseok had a saintly patience, sitting and taking the petulant little punches Chanyeol would halfheartedly beat on his chest, and it was all over when Minseok had told him gently,  _ “I’m sorry, baby. I’ve been thoughtless. If you’ll let me, please let me make it better.”  _

And he did. But Chanyeol doesn’t know if Minseok can give him a solution for this. 

“You really should talk to him,” Jongdae repeats himself. He pauses, drinks a bit of the beer they’ve had on the table, says, “And. I don’t want to assume, because. Well, I just don’t want to, but. Minseok’s been working really hard, and keeping busy. Taking on everything he can do before he leaves. Maybe, I think. Maybe he wants to talk to you, too? He probably just doesn’t know how to say it yet, but he surely has a lot on his mind.”

“Like, imagine how it must be for him,” Baekhyun says. “It must be hard. He’s leaving you behind, even if it’s just for a short while. You’re his world, Yeol.”

Chanyeol doesn’t say anything. The tears just start falling, and they sit with him, late into the hour.

.

Minseok looks a little nervous, standing inside the booth, but his voice is steady as he sings.

The song is so soft. The purest thing, and Chanyeol had sat down almost immediately, so  _ full  _ with so many emotions, and he lowers his cap until the bill is hiding most of his face, and it’s just. A lot, the past few months have been a lot and he’s trying to stay optimistic and happy because he knows Minseok needs it even though he doesn’t say out loud that he’s a little scared about leaving, but the days left are diminishing and the song is just so gentle like Minseok’s heart and he’s overwhelmed, fully overwhelmed. 

He’s so, so immensely  _ proud,  _ so in love and the way Minseok sings, voice light but full of depth, carrying gently like the wind, and him along with it. 

It hurts, in the way beautiful, honest things hurt, and Chanyeol listens on. To every take, wanting more, keeping it in his heart. 

He does well, his voice steady, unfaltering. and it’s a long process, Minseok wanting to repeat things until it’s as perfect as he can get it. Everyone is patient, and Chanyeol watches carefully from his perch on the couch on the wall farthest from the glass of the booth, doing his best to be a quiet, steady support to Minseok as he records. 

The bridge and last chorus seems to be giving Minseok some trouble, wanting to hear the take as soon as he’s done each time, frowning as he listens, and asking to repeat the lines again, a cycle that doesn’t break. The producer is telling him that he’s doing well, and he already has his takes, but Minseok doesn’t seem satisfied, silently frustrated at himself. And Chanyeol understands, knows where he’s coming from, and has an idea of what he wants. 

He stands, feeling a little shaky, but he comes up quietly behind the producer, tells him, “Mind if I go in there?”

He’s careful. Not everyone in the room knows about them, but the producer does, and he says with an air of understanding. “Ah, alright.”

He goes in, and Minseok looks down at the floor, sighing, tired. 

“I’m sorry. I’m taking too long,” he says, frowning to himself. “I can’t seem to get the feeling right.”

Chanyeol shakes his head, says quietly, “You sound beautiful. I’m so proud.”

Minseok sighs. “This last part. It’s not there yet.”

“The heavens and angels are insulted,” Chanyeol says, and Minseok rolls his eyes, but smiles. 

Chanyeol looks at him, so utterly  _ fond,  _ so  _ in love.  _ And he tries.

“Sing to me,” Chanyeol says simply. Minseok looks at him, blinking. 

“I. I don’t know if I can,” Minseok says, and Chanyeol gives him a small smile. The one he only gives Minseok, full of trust, understanding. 

“You can,” he says, pulling up a stool to the corner of the booth, and takes a seat, and fixes a headset over his ears. He smiles, encourages him, “You can, Minnie. Just look at me. You’re doing so well already. Just a bit more.”

Minseok stares at him, and Chanyeol can read the nervousness settling on his shoulders, building up, but when Minseok looks up, right so their eyes meet, he sees it fall away. Chanyeol sees so much  _ trust, love,  _ and he knows he has it in him this time. 

“Please let me repeat it, one last time,” Minseok says to the staff, and they acquiesce, and the track repeats. And Minseok sings, looking right at Chanyeol, their gaze unbreaking. 

_ “I love you without any reason,”  _ he sings, voice sweeping, still steady, but the slightest tremor of emotion coloring his voice.  _ “I want to give you the biggest place in my heart, more than anyone else.” _

Chanyeol feels his chest balloon with pride, aching with a melancholic happiness as Minseok’s voice swells, singing to him, for him. Maybe, with the way Minseok looks at him so lovingly,  _ about him.  _

_ “Will you come a little closer? I want to stay next to you like this,”  _ Minseok sings, voice wavering the slightest bit, soft, gentle vibrato thick with emotion but his tone light, and the result is breathtaking. His eyes shine as he looks at Chanyeol, and Chanyeol feels wetness on his own face, feeling everything. 

No one else makes him feel like this. He’s so, so immensely emotional, and he cries silently, and Minseok finishes, and it’s perfect. It will be perfect, once it’s out. It needs nothing else. 

“Thank you for your hard work,” he says to the people on the other side of the glass, and a  _ “Thank you, you did well,”  _ said in reply, but Chanyeol can only look at him. 

They wait, Chanyeol a few steps behind Minseok as they’re saying their goodbyes to the staff as they leave, and then it’s just the two of them, walking quietly to his car. 

They’re on the road when Minseok says, “Thank you, Yeollie. You helped a lot.”

“You should be proud of it,” Chanyeol says. His voice is shaken, still, unable to completely move on from it all. “Everyone will cry.”

“You keep saying that.”

“Because it’s true,” he says. They’re at a stoplight, and he turns away from looking at the road to look at Minseok, eyes still wet. “It’s beautiful. Everyone will love it. You’re giving them such a beautiful gift.”

Minseok looks at him. His eyes are filming over again when he tells him, “It’s a gift for them, and I hope they like it. But. It’s also for you. About you.”

And Chanyeol has to drive when the light goes green, but he’s chest is so tight, so stretched to the point he almost can’t take it, the ache of love and not wanting to be left behind keeping him so full, and he doesn’t know what to feel first. He sniffs, and the soft exhales of his breath are followed by the beading of tears on the corner of his eyes. 

Minseok understands. He holds his hand, and they’re silent the rest of the way. 

.

Kyungsoo tells them that he’s leaving a few months after Minseok. It’s out of the blue, just so much like him, and Chanyeol cries again, been crying a lot these days, and Kyungsoo says, “I’m okay. Don’t cry about it for too long.”

“Everyone is leaving,” he says. He sucks in a shuddering breath, and he and Kyungsoo, they’re best friends. It hurts. “Why do I feel like I’m overreacting?”

“You’re not,” he says calmly. “I can’t tell you how to feel. But if you’re crying more for me than you did for your boyfriend, I’ll get mad on his behalf.”

“He wouldn’t get mad at me, anyway,” Chanyeol snorts, and then it’s whiplash, when he sobs a little. “But for your information, I’m at a constant state of dehydration from all my crying, especially these past few weeks.” 

“Does hyung know about that?”

“I mean. I’ve cried in front of him a few times,” he says. “But. It’s been mostly over the sink, private late night waterworks action.”

“You have to stop internalizing everything, you just end up getting worked up until you snap,” Kyungsoo says. He’s gentle as he says it, soothing in the way he always is. “You know, he’d listen to you. About anything. Even though he’s leaving, he can still give you the comfort no one else can.”

“It’s a little embarrassing,” Chanyeol says, sniffing. “Being more worried about him than he is about himself.”

“He’s your  _ boyfriend,”  _ Kyungsoo stares at him. “Your partner. He won’t think it’s embarrassing if you tell him how you feel. And you don’t have to worry about him so much. It’s Minseok, he’ll be fine. More than fine.”

“I know,” Chanyeol says, and he does know it. But it doesn’t suck any less. “You will be too, Soo.”

“Thank you. And, you should really talk to him,” Kyungsoo advises him. “It will make you feel better. Assurance is a powerful thing.”

.

He almost raises hell when the next meeting with the company and staff is called, and Minseok and Kyungsoo aren’t called to come. It’s only by Junmyeon’s calm convincing and the good graces of Jongin and Sehun’s wrangling that he gets to the meeting and says mostly nothing, but he’s brewing with a lot of anger, feeling like everyone is getting cheated out of what should have been something they could have done, together.

“They’re planning the next concert,” Chanyeol tells Minseok later, when they’re in his apartment and moving things in, getting it a little more livable with furnishings and appliances and linens. 

“Do they have a name for it?” Minseok asks, calm and quiet. 

“Not yet, but they’re blocking off July for it,” Chanyeol says, and he tries not to fume so much. It just feels unfair, for some reason. 

Minseok sees it, and he pauses from where he’s stacking plates into the drawer. “Chanyeol. What’s wrong? This is good news.”

“Nothing,” he says. He’s a little aggressive with the utensils, but Minseok’s warm body is embracing him, and his small head tucked against his shoulder, kissing his heart. 

It’s almost instant, how the anger in his chest simmers down, and the way his heart just calms. 

“Yeollie. Baby,” Minseok says. His voice is warm, like honey to his ears, and Chanyeol curls into him, wants the gentle heat. “Take a minute.”

Chanyeol burrows into him, arms coming up to hold Minseok, and he’s a whole head and a bit taller than him, but it’s natural, the way he can make himself small and just burrow into Minseok and be cradled, be taken care of simply and without question. Minseok is patient, lips against his hair, and he is steady. The steadiest, strongest thing in Chanyeol’s life. 

They take that minute, and a little more, until Chanyeol feels his breathing taper into something less ragged and angry, all melted and siphoned off by Minseok’s embrace. 

“You good?” Minseok asks him quietly, patiently. Chanyeol hums. 

“Sorry, Minnie,” he says. His voice is muffled against Minseok’s neck, but all he does is move closer, burrow in deeper. 

“Can you tell me why you’re so upset?” he asks, but it’s not pushing for an answer. Ever so patient, waiting, being there for him for as long as he needs. 

Chanyeol takes some time before he talks, before eventually admitting, “It’s silly.”

“It’s not,” Minseok tells him. He moves back just enough to press the most tender kiss on Chanyeol’s lips, and Chanyeol sighs, moaning quietly against his mouth, comforted. “It’s not, Yeol. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

He looks at him, his earnest, bright eyed love of his life, and he says, “It’s so  _ condensed,  _ so rushed. It’s frustrating. We could have been doing this all together, earlier in the year. While as much of us could.”

“Maybe, but then maybe they were adjusting to us. 160’s last leg is last minute, too,” Minseok says gently, and it’s a good point, but it’s not a full excuse. 

“But what about all those other months when we weren’t doing  _ anything,”  _ Chanyeol says, frustrated. Sad. “And they’re just, it’s like. They’ve already forgotten about you. And Kyungsoo. And don’t get me started on Yixing hyung-“

“Chanyeol,” Minseok says, “I know it’s frustrating. It seems unfair, and maybe it is. But baby, it’s what  _ needs  _ to be done.”

He blinks to himself, not fully understanding. “Minnie?”

Minseok looks at him, and his smile is sad, and he says, “The world won’t stop turning just because I’m going away for awhile, and you shouldn't stop either.”

Chanyeol can’t help but pout, and he tries to take in the words, knowing Minseok doesn’t say anything like this with lightheartedness, but. It’s hard to take in. 

“The group needs to keep moving forward, and you need to, as well,” he continues. “You’re doing  _ so well,  _ being so supportive and keeping me grounded, I love you  _ so much.” _

Chanyeol blinks at him, and frowns, because that’s not right; if anything,  _ Minseok  _ was the one being supportive, keeping him anchored to everything. He feels a little useless, and like he should do better. 

“You have to do well. All of you,” Minseok tells him. It’s a gentle plead, sincerity shining in his eyes, and Chanyeol understands a bit more. 

His cheeks heat slightly, with his behavior earlier and the way he’s approached this, but Minseok kisses his cheek, understanding. Admonishing, maybe slightly, but ultimately, forgiving. Encouraging. 

“I’m sorry “ Chanyeol says. He breathes, goes on, “I’ll work hard, we all will.”

“I don’t doubt you all will make us proud,” Minseok says, and it burns bright. 

.

Weeks pass. 

Minseok types out a short note, bright and optimistic in tone, announcing his short goodbye, and posts it. Quiet, sweet, and simple, much like he is.

Chanyeol doesn’t see the reactions online, and he doesn’t want to. He turns off his phone, his computer, and finds Minseok in his apartment, laying on his bed with the covers up to his chin. 

As strong and optimistic as he’d been the past months, Chanyeol had noticed the moments of where he’d faltered. Of not admitting aloud, but small signs of not wanting to go. Moments of looking at Chanyeol too long, full of longing, or pondering over the figurines he’s yet to set up on the display overlooking the main dining area, knowing he’d be gone soon and unable to admire them for too long, or listening to EXO’s songs, thinking of what they might perform, what they might do for the next tour. 

Chanyeol sees it, now. In the way Minseok looks out the window, silent, breath even, eyes blank. 

He steps in, lifts the covers, and tucks himself behind Minseok, holding him. Minseok is warm, quiet, and Chanyeol waits for him. 

“I don’t want to leave,” Minseok says eventually. His voice is wet. “I don’t want to leave you. I want to finish my doctorate, I want to keep working hard. I want to keep making music with you. I don’t want to leave you.”

Chanyeol lowers his head, tucks it into Minseok’s neck, and breathes with him, slow, even. He holds him as Minseok’s breath shudders eventually, and says, “I don’t want to put my life on hold.”

He stops, and Chanyeol feels his apprehension, like he’s said too much, and he tells him gently, “It’s okay. I know you’ll do well. You’re not weaker for having these thoughts. I’m proud of you.”

Minseok is quiet for some time. When he speaks again, all he says is, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Chanyeol says, because he has no reason to be. He’s valid for feeling the things he’s feeling. These worries, they’re important, and Chanyeol will listen to him, wanting, willing. 

When Minseok worries, fears, it’s quiet. Mostly to himself, and he deals with it on his own, suffers and endures until it’s gone. 

With Chanyeol, it had chipped away slightly. Quiet, short words, and not everything conveyed, but it’s still something said out loud. Any times, he still struggles, still trying to find a way to express himself better honestly, and sometimes it leads to misunderstanding, sometimes it leads to more words, navigating. Other times, it leads to moments like this, wherein Chanyeol envelopes him in warmth, gives him all the comfort he can offer, everything understood, even with just those choice words. 

Today, there’d been more words than usual. Chanyeol is truly proud of him, for saying more. For saying what he felt. It makes him hold him tighter. 

It makes him think of his own fears, of things he can’t word properly but wants to say. But he looks down at Minseok, curled in his arms, and he knows the time to admit his own worries will come. 

.

Minseok announces his fanmeet as they’re set to leave for Japan, and it’s a busy, busy month. 

Once they get there, there’s not much time to think: it’s straight off to rehearsals, dancing and singing and staging. 

There’s not much time to breathe, before the night comes, and the show descends upon them like a cloud. 

Junmyeon, Kyungsoo, and, miraculously, wonderfully, Yixing manage to fly out, and get seats high up in a private box, but not before coming into the dressing room, and asking how they are.

“I’m not really thinking,” Chanyeol says, letting people button his shirt up and add just a little shimmer to his cheeks. “It’s been very fast.”

“There’s a lot of people out there,” Kyungsoo says calmly. It’s his first time seeing a full 160 show, having been too busy with the movies and the drama. Chanyeol really treasures his presence.

“We’ll have to do even better for them,” Minseok says, beaming, hair a light brown and cut slightly. It will be gone in a month.

Chanyeol shakes his thoughts away, just as Junmyeon says, “Don’t get hurt, do your best.”

“Leave nothing out,” Yixing says, a little tired, but bright, so supportive. “Leave everything out there.”

They listen well. The show tonight feels monumental, and it somehow is. 

It doesn’t get old, from that first moment when the lights shut down and the center screen slowly fills the arena with light, the large display on the right filling with scenes of Minseok, freshly woken, partly naked, soft sexy boyfriend, and scenes of Chanyeol on the left side, topless before putting over a shirt, ruffling his hair, just as soft. 

It’s always striking, how different their concept is from the rest of the group. EXO always hit hard, right from the beginning, epic, strong, never going by halves from the start of the thousand step journey. CBX was more fun, a slight bounce that was lively from the beginning and is injected throughout the shows. 

EXO 160 is an extreme in which they don’t quite reach that liveliness, and is rooted in being a little more intimate, a little more raw. Sometimes brooding, sometimes emotional, at one point really sensual (the comeback music video featured Minseok and Chanyeol biting on each other’s collarbones and swiping their tongues on each other’s throats, and everyone from the company, to Junmyeon, to the general public, had gone ballistic; they had won six times on music shows for the song, and are even handsier when they do it live), and above it all, they are always,  _ always  _ earnest. 

So they do their shows in the same vein. Intimate, earnest, and more often than not, somewhat stripped down, though still with that bounce EXO is known for. 

_ Been Here  _ opens their show, and it moves quickly from there. Songs in Korean, in Japanese, many with dance routines, many without. Their first set of solos, another few songs together, their livelier set, and Chanyeol steps out by himself, guitar in hand, great beam on his face for the tens of thousands of fans with their silver lights, in time for his second solo of the night. A live version of one of the songs from his last mini album, a song Minseok had inspired, and worked with him for. 

Any show with any EXO group variation is fun, because the fans are its spirit. For 160, they are steady, loud in their cheers but not so often or so loud that their music is drowned out. They sing along simply, and they are the emotional crowd among EXO audiences. 

It’s a good show, their audience moving with them as they go, always singing, cheering, being wonderful. And, when the light dims, they watch enraptured as the instrumental begins, a light, gentle sound, and his love appears on stage, ethereal, and Chanyeol watches from the sides, knowing he has to get ready for the next number, but he can’t stop watching. 

Minseok moves, flows with the music, grace and beauty and the primroses appear, gentle dots of yellow from where Chanyeol is, and the music begins to swell, as does his heart. 

The microphone, entangled with vines and more flowers, emerges from below the stage, and the climax grows, until Minseok stands, and sings, a crescendo of his beautiful voice filling the stadium, the song familiar, one of goodbye sang each night on tour, usually bright and lighthearted by nine, or recently, eight. 

Now, it’s full of meaning, full of weight and longing, and from the first note, the whole crowd gasps, cries in unison as Minseok sings to them, and Chanyeol reacts similarly. Cannot help the sharp intake of breath and the spring of tears, and he’s seen Minseok dance this before. Watched him learn it, watched him perfect it. But, seeing it in it’s full context, seeing the lights and the primroses, the full weight of it rests heavy on his chest. 

Minseok does not falter. Sings, dances beautifully, enough to fill the stage though he is on his own, and the number is less than three minutes long, but it changes the whole tone of the concert, and Chanyeol feels it deeply. 

They’ve been through so much together. They have fought very hard and they treasure everything between them, even the parts that were difficult.

They will meet again, but the time is long, and Chanyeol feels the emotion fill him to his fingertips, and it’s painful and he feels a little weak. 

The song winds down after the last words for his butterflies, and he slowly turns his back to them, and the collective sobs and cries in the arena are audible, almost loud as Minseok covers his ears, and the clock on the display stops on the seventh minute of the fifth hour. 

_ “I won’t forget.” _

_ “I will come back.” _

“Chanyeol, we need you on the other side of the stage,” the stage manager is saying next to him, voice urgent, and Chanyeol doesn’t have time to breathe or take it all in. 

So. He doesn’t know if he’s a mess or just trying to hold himself in when he goes back onstage, screens left blank and floors empty, nothing else there but Minseok and Chanyeol next to each other, and the gentle first notes of  _ After You  _ fill the arena. 

It’s their first time performing this song in front of an audience, and by their silence and attention, they know that this song is an important one.

_ “What I want in the end, it becomes simple,”  _ Chanyeol starts the song, and the beat is soft, but it’s light, hopeful. 

Goodbye, but thankful. The way Minseok would have wanted it, he’s sure, each word full of meaning as they sing. 

_ “I’m not usually greedy,”  _ Minseok sings next to him, voice pure. 

_ “But I want to hold on to you,”  _ Chanyeol sings in answer. 

And together,  _ “Now everything is perfect.” _

_ “Feels like I have the world,”  _ Minseok sings looking to him, and the line. Just with the look in his eyes, Chanyeol knows that the line pertains to him, and he keeps it with him. 

_ “Drunk with this song that looks like you-“ _

_ “It’s enough to just look at you,”  _ Chanyeol sings in turn. 

It’s not quite a sad song. Chanyeol himself doesn’t know how to describe it well. It is rhythmic, but not quite upbeat, and there is a soft, poignant tone to it. Intimate, special, the way 160 is known for, but less brooding, and filled with more gratitude. 

_ “Lucky to have known you, to have loved you.” _

They turn to each other as they sing through the bridge, the only choreography for the number, simple staging to let the song truly sing, as they have requested. 

Minseok looks at him as he sings,  _ “I just need you.”  _ His eyes are wet, and the small smile on his face is sad. Everything compounds on Chanyeol at that moment, and his emotional tolerance snaps the slightest bit. 

The song quiets for a moment, and they come into the final chorus, and he tries to sing through his line. 

_ “I’m drunk with this song-“ _

And he pauses before the high note, eyes stinging, chest so, so painful with an ache he can barely take. He looks at Minseok, tens of thousands of fans looking on at them, quiet, giving them the moment, and Minseok’s gaze goes so tender. He doesn’t reach out to touch him, but Chanyeol doesn’t need him to. Just needs him to be there, for as long as he can. To stand there, and be with him. 

He won’t have that luxury for long.

Minseok waits patiently, even as he misses the words as he tries to hold himself together, and Chanyeol bows, trying to gather himself, repress the tears as he sings shakily,  _ “It’s enough to just look at you.” _

He means every word. 

Minseok leads the rest of the song, tears choking Chanyeol’s throat but he fights not to let them leak, and he sings what he can. 

_ “I won’t ever let you go,”  _ Chanyeol sings to him, and as much as it is for the audience, for their fans, Chanyeol wrote it, sings it for the person in front of him, the most beautiful person he knows. Really his other half. 

_ “Will you stay with me?”  _ Minseok sings the last line, looking right at Chanyeol, song tapering off to silence. It’s a few moments before their crowd gives them an applause, loud, and full of deep respect.

The whole arena darkens, lights dimming and Chanyeol and Minseok step off stage to get ready for the encore. 

They’re ushered into their dressing room to change into the final outfits, and Chanyeol can’t say anything. Nothing comes to mind, and he feels if he opens his mouth, he’ll spew something over emotional and make everyone sad, already close to tears from singing to him. 

Last few songs together before Minseok leaves. It’s a little punishing. 

It’s all he can do to follow the staff as they get him to the room, freshen him up and make him change into more comfortable clothing. It’s quiet between the two of them, and while silence is often comforting, wonderful between them, moments of calm, right now, it doesn’t feel right. 

So, he says, trying not to sound too strained, “Minnie. You did well.”

He doesn’t say more, stares straight into the mirror as he shrugs off his button up, taking the shirt straight off the merchandise table with the sleeves cut off offered to him, hands shaking slightly. 

Before he can put it on, a hand takes his, touch firm, reassuring. Loving. He turns his head, and Minseok is looking at him, gaze soft. 

“I love you, Yeollie,” he says simply. Truthfully, with his whole soul. 

There are tears springing to Chanyeol’s eyes, and his breath shudders as he cries more freely. Neither of them notice when the room thins out, the staff leaving them be, and Minseok cups his face, brushing away his tears with his thumbs.

Chanyeol holds on to him, follows willingly when Minseok gently lowers his head, meeting him halfway with his lips on his, plush, slightly wet, familiar like home. 

Minseok comforts him, as he always does, when things are hard or easy, whenever Chanyeol needs him. 

He tastes sweet. Chanyeol presses small kisses, one after the other, on Minseok’s lips, whimpering, wanting more, and Minseok takes him in his arms, and lets him take as much as he needs. 

Then Minseok kisses him even more deeply, stilling him for a moment, calming him enough to lick gently inside his mouth, and it’s not lewd, it’s pure, letting Chanyeol taste home. 

It’s more than enough. They need to do a few more songs, but Chanyeol thinks he’ll be okay enough to not break down too much. He can do it. He can finish this, they can, together. 

And so they do, coming back onstage to cheers, and go around the arena on the tram, and the songs fly by. Chanyeol doesn’t even realize it, when their final song is done, and it’s time to say their goodbyes. 

He looks out, and their silver ocean of lights is turned into a banner sea of pale blue, and he smiles, reaching out to hold Minseok’s hand, comforted as he’s guided by him. 

_ “‘Been Here waiting all this time patiently, we will meet again After You return!’”  _ Minseok bends low to read the banner nearest to him with a wide beam, and Chanyeol reacts accordingly, a long  _ “Wahhhhh,”  _ clapping his hands and blowing kisses to the fans. “Ah, you’re all so sweet.”

“It’s making me blush,” Chanyeol says, patting his cheeks and fluttering his eyelashes flirtatiously, and Minseok laughs, adjusting his earpiece. He looks calm, steady, thankful as he looks out to everyone, and Chanyeol leans on him a little. Depends on him a lot. “It’s cute.”

The fans titter, pleased with themselves, happy with being called cute, and Chanyeol and Minseok tease them, as they do often. He says, “Ah. I meant hyung. Hyung is cute. The cutest.” A united, indignant  _ “waahhhhh”,  _ and Minseok pouts at them. 

“So you’re saying he’s wrong?” he says, pouting cutely to screams. 

“So Minseok is not cute?” Chanyeol asks, and the fans are divided, trying to figure out how to answer properly, in the end making a lot of noise. 

“Junmyeon is shaking his head up there,” Minseok said, pointing over to where Junmyeon, Yixing, and Kyungsoo are, shaking their lightsticks and waving at the wave of screams that erupt from the crowd, and there are more tears, audible sobs. “We have a lot we could say for the members, the ones here and who aren’t, but. Ah. How do I say this?”

“We feel like words wouldn’t be enough,” Chanyeol says for him, and Minseok looks at him. The corners of his lips go up slightly, and he holds his hand anew.

“Right,” he says. “So, before anything else, we want to say to the three of you, and the others who are at home: Thank you. We love you. We are one, always will be.”

And Minseok bows slightly, and Chanyeol follows, and rather than cheers, there are more sobs, and applause, respectful, and the three of them stand, and bow in turn.

It’s a heavy atmosphere, sad, and when they stand back up, it’s hard to know what to do next. Chanyeol stands for what feels like many moments, silent, fixing his earpiece just so he looks busy, and usually, as these go, he’s the one who speaks first and gives the final ments, but he doesn’t know how to begin. And Minseok, being Minseok, understanding him better than anyone else, gives him a way to start, or try to.

“61, do you want to start us off?” Minseok asks him, and his smile is bright, his tone just the slightest bit careful.  _ ‘You can do this,’  _ Chanyeol reads on his face,  _ ‘We’re almost there.’ _

“Ah, of course,” he says, thankful for his love, and he looks out to everyone. Smiles as wide as he can, and tries to begin. “It’s been an emotional night for everyone. It’s his fault.”

“Just mine?” Minseok quirks an eyebrow at him, smirking. 

“Ah, when we were rehearsing and he said he would do this, I knew it would make many people cry,” Chanyeol says, fake berating Minseok and shaking his head. “Did you all cry?”

_ “Ye-ees,”  _ they cry out in chorus to him, and Chanyeol sighs, exaggerated, Minseok rolling his eyes, still smiling. 

“But were you touched?”

_ “Ye-eeees,”  _ they say even louder, and Chanyeol smiles at them softly, understanding how they feel.

“Minseok is mean, isn’t he?”

_ “Ye-eeeeeees,”  _ and Minseok chuckles, keeping things light, teasing them again, “Did you hold in your tears to your limit? Was that your best? It can’t be my fault if you didn't do your best.”

The fans laugh, and Chanyeol makes a face, where he tries to hold in his laugh but it comes out weird. 

“Well, I was too,” he continues, “I was so touched too, today, and when I first watched hyung practice. It was very emotional. It made me think of everything he’s achieved and how deeply he cares for all of you.”

They  _ ‘aww’  _ in unison as he pauses, trying to think of what to say next, thinking of the right words so he won’t cry. 

“Ah. Being honest with you, when Minnie told me that he was going to leave, I didn’t know what to do,” he says. It’s the last show, so he will be honest. The people who’ve made the time to be there, to watch this show, and Minseok, deserve it. “There is a lot more that we still wanted to do, you know? There was music we were making and things we were planning. So this is hard. It’s very hard.”

He pauses, feeling his chest go tight. Takes a deep breath, and says, “I will miss this time. I will miss 160 a lot. Ah, just saying these things, I am already a little lonely, but I will be strong for everyone. For Minnie hyung, because I. I love him a lot, and.  _ Ah.” _

He stops, trying to gather himself, but it’s not of much use. The tears come, and they fall, and he lowers his head, and he laughs as he cries. 

“Ah, I said I wouldn’t cry. I’m sorry,” he says. He goes quiet again, and cries even more, and hides behind Minseok as he tries to come forward to comfort him. Minseok turns, so that he’s holding him properly, and dabs at his tears with a towel. 

“You’re okay, Yeollie,” Minseok says, quietly, just for him, away from the microphone. His eyes are tender as anything. 

“I thought I could hold it,” he says, sniffing.

“You don’t have to,” Minseok says. His tone is gentle, and he is steady. The steadiest thing in Chanyeol’s life. “Don’t hold back. I am here.”

Chanyeol doesn’t stop crying, but he is strengthened by the reassurance, and remembers what Kyungsoo had told him. And he’d been right, it  _ was  _ a beautiful thing. 

“Ah. I’m sorry,” he says, exhaling as he tries to sob less. The tears still come, but he goes on, “I am sad. But I’m not worried for him. I know he’ll do well. And for now, I will work hard, for hyung, and for all of you. So that all of you can be proud to be fans of EXO, of EXO 160, and especially of my partner. We will meet again. It may not be soon, but we will be coming back, to greet you all again in the future. Thank you. We love you all so much.”

He bows, deeply and for a long time, and they applaud. When he stands back up, Minseok pulls him in, embraces him, and lets him tuck his face into his neck for a long time, but no one seems to be impatient. So, amidst their cheers and encouragement, Chanyeol curls into him, melts into his embrace, and takes the offered comfort as he cries quietly. 

It’s many moments, and Minseok leans back, smiling gently at him. Pats his cheek without saying anything, but Chanyeol understands. He steps back, and gives him every shine. 

“Thank you,” Minseok begins, starting off simply, honestly. “This was a special show. I want to keep the atmosphere light and leave everyone on a bright note, but I seemed to have failed in that aspect. I’m sorry.”

Another chorus of  _ ‘awws,’  _ and he waits for it to die down. His smile goes softer, and he considers his words, continuing, “For my solo, I thought about it very hard. We perform the song often, and tonight, I gave it a new meaning. For now, for me, it became,  _ ‘I Go.’  _ The primroses were for all of you. Of silent love, gratitude, and waiting. We have suffered and endured and celebrated for many years together, and I am so thankful for you all. I will go for a short while, but I will not forget any of you. I will do my best, and try to stay healthy, and then come back, so that you all will be proud of me.”

He smiles, and grasps Chanyeol’s hand. He links their fingers together. 

“Please. Take care of Chanyeollie for me, love him a lot while I love him and all of you and the members from afar. Thank you.”

He bows, and Chanyeol feels like crying all over again. The cheers are at their loudest at this point. 

“So,” Minseok begins as he stands back up, their few back up dancers, their live band musicians come up to stand next to them onstage, everyone linking hands. “We take this moment to say, sincerely, with everything we have: Thank you.”

And everyone bows, for a long time. There are many cries in their crowd of around twenty thousand. 

“This is goodbye for now, but we will meet again. For now, 99-”

“61,” Chanyeol says, voice a little weak with tears, but he makes it loud, for Minseok.

“This has been EXO 160,” Minseok says, his voice strong. Happy, proud. “We are one.”

_ “Let’s love.” _

.

_ ‘SSFW’  _ completes itself very quickly, from the remains of the melody Chanyeol had been saving for them, but one day, he’d listened to it again. And he finishes it within a few hours, and when Sehun hears it by accident, he slaps Chanyeol’s butt. 

“Release that shit,” he says. 

Chanyeol blinks. “But-“

“Release it,” he repeats. “On your SoundCloud or leak it through the Twitter or something, it’s not like the staff will notice before it’s too late. Wouldn’t be the first time-“

“Hunnie,” Chanyeol turns at him. “It’s not even a proper recording.”

“Then make a proper one then release it,” Sehun says, eyes steady as he stares on at him. “So Minseok can hear it, and keep it with him. Like assurance, for when he goes.”

And it’s that word again. Chanyeol finds that the thought doesn’t leave him, and it gives him strength enough to go to the company, much like he did before those years ago when he brought them  _ Been Here, _ the song that he and Minseok had worked on together and made them who they are. 

He’s even dressed similarly, in a holey sweater and ripped jeans, but at least he’d tried a little more with his hair. 

He doesn’t barge into a room this time, respectfully bowing before anything else as he greets the suits and staff who’d gathered at his request, and he plays them the song, a newer recording, more polished and closer to the warm sound he had in mind. It’s almost there. 

“Ah. It sounds a little different from your older offerings,” one of them says. He’s not wrong.

“I was going for something more comforting?” he says, but his tone isn’t completely sure. He curses himself for not being assertive. “Still similar, but like the sun.”

“It’s a good song.” He knows that much, despite his own self-doubt. He knows this one is good. “Then why present this especially?”

“I would like permission to release it,” he says, maybe a little too quickly, but he says it before he loses his nerve, which he finds, is very quick.

“Release?” someone says, eyebrows raised. “Ah. So is this the beginnings of your solo comeback album?”

“I, no, wait,” he blinks rapidly. An album would be great,  _ fantastic,  _ but. He’s had material for his album for a few months and it’s building up nicely, but the theme of those songs are vastly different from this song. This one, a warm reassurance, is better for now, before Minseok leaves. “It’s not for the album.”

“It’s not?” they say. “It’s a good song, and I understand the desire to share it. But it’s because it’s good, that maybe you should save it for wider release with the album.”

“That you for the kind words and advice, but. That’s not why I wrote the song,” he says, and he sees his window closing, and he runs to keep it open. “I’d like to release it as soon as I can. I understand why you would want me to wait, but. This one, maybe not this one. I’d like its message to be heard by someone before they leave.”

They blink at him collectively, not quite understanding. They concede slightly, though, and ask him, “So how were you thinking of releasing it?”

It’s Chanyeol’s turn to blink, and he blushes. He truly didn’t think he’d make it this far, and there’s no way in hell he’d say what Sehun had suggested to leak it on the Twitter. 

“Well, if you’d prefer no fuss, I can just post it on my SoundCloud, or. Something similar,” he trails off, wanting to plant his face on the table, because he’d come all this way to have permission to post on  _ his own  _ SoundCloud channel, and it’s stupid.

“A song that good needs better distribution than that,” they say, pausing. “Hmm. What about a Station?”

A Station. Chanyeol blinks to himself, blushing harder, feeling even more stupid for forgetting those existed. 

“Who’s up next?” someone asks.

“If we’re not mistaken, it’s Xiumin, on the 9th.”

Chanyeol internally panics, blurts out, “Ah, before his. I’d like to release it before his.”

Everyone stares at him, and he wants the earth to swallow him whole.

“It’s just. I wouldn’t want to take the focus from him, if it’s released after his. It’s his parting gift for everyone, so it’s significant. Ah,  _ shit,”  _ he mutters to himself, trying not to make it too heard, “I’m sorry.”

Someone chuckles, but it’s not demeaning, says, “Still as sprightly as ever. Alright. A Station. Before the end of the month should be enough time, yes?”

Chanyeol sighs in relief, still to himself, and says gratefully, “Yes, it should be. Thank you.”

It’s very quick from there. Recording the song again and getting it to a final sound, warm, upbeat but soft and breezing, like the sunset, a steady sound, and the visuals clear from the color and melody, the tone staying the same even as he records it in Chinese and Japanese. 

Bright colors of the sun, warm, yellows, turning softer as it winds down. He does the photoshoots, a simple music video as he’d wished, straightforwardly conveying what he wants to say. 

_ ‘You’re so natural, like the seasons, and I’m standing here taking it all in.’ _

“Such a warm song,” one of the staff says as they fix his hair before shooting. “Very sweet, like a steady love. That’s what you wanted, yes?”

“Yes, very much so,” he says, smiling, happy that it’s conveyed well.

_ ‘Four seasons, the two of us are. Like spring and summer, blossoming and deepening.’ _

He hopes Minseok likes it. He’ll know it’s for him, quite easily. He’s the spring. 

It’s released without much fanfare, and he goes over to Minseok’s apartment, still in it’s moving in stage, but there are traces of Minseok everywhere as it is. His neatness, the clean aesthetic, the air humidifier in the living room, the way he rolls up his towels. 

He walks in, door unlocked for him, and there’s a quiet him over the place. It’s takes a moment before he realizes it’s music, soft but omniscient from the second he walks in and toes of his shoes near the door. It takes many more moments before he realizes why it’s so familiar: it’s  _ SSFW.  _

He can’t control the smile that makes his cheeks perk up, and he walks in, finds Minseok sitting in the dining area, table something of a small mess as he tries to figure out the many figurines he had bought, trying to assemble them carefully. His phone is next to him, opens to Chanyeol’s song, where the sound flitters through the room on the Bluetooth speaker set up in the living room. 

He has his glasses on, which makes Chanyeol look at him fondly, despite the little heat in his stomach. The glasses aren’t something Minseok wears often, but when he does, Chanyeol is too weak for it, but it’s not overwhelming now. The light filtering from the window is gentle as it bathes the room in a glow, and he sits on the table, across from Minseok, and waits. 

Minseok doesn’t look up from where he’s trying to affix a sword onto a figurine, but his tone is entirely fond when he says, “You should be celebrating your song.”

“I  _ am,”  _ Chanyeol says, beaming. Minseok looks up, and the smile is bright in his eyes, affection and love shining clear. 

He hums a little as the song goes, and he begins to sing, voice tender as he goes,  _ “‘I want to hold you closer to chase away the cold.’” _

“Ah, maybe I should have made you sing with me,” Chanyeol says, falling in love all over again. “Such a beautiful, bright voice.”

“I disagree,” Minseok says, still smiling. “It’s perfect as it is. Just you.”

“So you like it?”

“I do, very much,” Minseok says. “It feels a lot like you. Makes me feel warm, like you do.”

Chanyeol’s chest goes tight, happy, and he sets his arms on the table, hands meeting together with his fingers locked, and he sets his chin on top of them. He looks up, eyelashes fluttering, and he says, “It’s like us. Like the sun.”

Minseok’s cheeks are blushed pink, and he leans over, cups Chanyeol’s face gently, and he puckers his lips and blows him a few kisses. “I’m proud of you. My summer.”

Chanyeol blinks, and his belly goes warm, a gentle heat that is pleasant in his body and his heart, and he smiles even wider. He doesn’t have anything else to say in turn, instead moving to kiss Minseok’s palms lovingly. 

Minseok grins, gums showing in that endearing way Chanyeol loves so much, and Chanyeol looks down at the large, expensive looking box Minseok was about to open. His eyes widen when he sees what it’s for. 

_ “Luffy?!”  _ Chanyeol whisper screams, staring at the character plastered all over the sides and front. 

“Want to help me assemble it?” Minseok asks him casually, voice still warm. 

“Give it to me instead,” Chanyeol pouts, and Minseok laughs, shaking his head. 

“I’ll buy you a nicer one, help me make this one,” Minseok says, so simply, and Chanyeol brightens up. 

He spends the day making more figurines with Minseok. It’s a good way to celebrate, his song on repeat playing through the speakers, Minseok singing along to the words he knows are for him. 

.

Minseok had been busier, preparing for his final schedule before he leaves. They don’t have a lot of time left, and every Min sure is precious, even more treasured. 

So, a few days before his final rehearsals, before he absolutely cannot be too smashed, Chanyeol buys a shitload of soju and beer, drives the members still in Korea to Minseok’s place, and proceeds to have a spontaneous though much delayed drunk housewarming party. 

“This isn’t even the grape flavor,” Baekhyun frowns, but downing the small shot of soju anyway, making a face after he swallows.

“That shit? Disgrace, that’s just juice,” Minseok says, leaning back on the sofa as Chanyeol curls against him, really almost sitting on his lap. His hand is warm on Chanyeol’s butt, and they may have crossed the line a few times. Chanyeol’s not sure how far they’d gone; Minseok’s made sure they haven’t done anything too explicit, not even small kisses, and Chanyeol pouts at having received no tongue action at all. He may have been leaving little bites on Minseok’s neck in retaliation, but none of the others seem to be bothered, too far gone anyway. 

“This hasn’t been ‘christened,’ has it?” Junmyeon belatedly wonders, staring at the spot he’s sitting on, making a grossed out face, but Jongdae and Sehun cuddle him on either side, and he’s unable to move. They’re already a little gone, and it’s been a few hours. The sky is dark outside.

“Ah. Unfortunately, we have been very PG-13 as of late,” Chanyeol sighs, pouting as he bemoans his fate. “Just no opportunities to get sexy. Been too busy being talented.”

“Good,” Kyungsoo says, and he hasn’t been drinking much, sticking to the water and eating all the snacks. Nonetheless, he still pours out more for Minseok, says, “Get wasted, hyung. Before you can’t anymore.”

“I will miss the soju and ramen at nights, watching your dramas,” he sighs, takes the shot offered to him, knocking it back easily, then reaching for the bottle and drinking straight from it. Watching him swallow it down, watching his throat take it in, is stirring the heat in Chanyeol’s stomach, but he stops himself, takes a little swig from it as well before Minseok finishes it. Much to think about. 

Between the two of them, they finish four bottles, and it’s hardly anything to them, but everyone else is already too gone, either sleeping and passed out, or eating the remaining cookies and chips and watching TV silently, which is really just Kyungsoo. 

Chanyeol’s properly sitting on top of Minseok now, arms around his shoulders and nuzzling his neck. But, as tactile and touchy as he is, Minseok is even more so, one of his hands on Chanyeol’s thigh, massaging him comfortingly, and the other gliding up and down his back, before stopping on his ass and squeezing a little. Chanyeol melts against him, and he’s not drunk, but he’s a little more loose limbed, and more generous with his touches.

Minseok is much of the same, leaving kisses along his neck, and then his cheek. 

It’s late, it’s so late, and Chanyeol knows he should deposit the others in the guest room or call a car, but then. Minseok’s hand on his thigh dares to go the slightest bit higher. Just a bit, nearer to where Chanyeol is beginning to get interested, but Minseok doesn’t go further, respectful. 

“Chanyeollie, my baby,” Minseok says, and his voice is still soft, but the hint of caution he speaks with normally is absent, and it’s intimate, a little heated. Chanyeol’s cheeks turn red, and he looks at Minseok, who looks back at him, and then. He’s leaning down, catching his lips in a kiss, and it’s so  _ steaming,  _ wet and silky and he’s licking into Chanyeol’s mouth and Chanyeol is whimpering, trembling slightly and chasing his tongue, licking across teeth. “Love you, love you a lot-“

“Minnie,” he moans, silent, as silent as he can go, and Minseok tilts his head up to kiss him again, and again. 

“I love you, Chanyeollie,” Minseok says, so smooth, lips melting into his, and Chanyeol tries keeping in his moans, but there’s only so much he can do. 

“Everyone’s still here,” Chanyeol says, pushing him back with a hand on his chest, but he knows his eyes are dark. He thinks about dragging everyone to the guest room to sleep and lock them in while they have their way with each other, never mind if they’re all crammed on to one bed, but Kyungsoo saves him. 

“I’m gonna get cars for everyone,” he says, wiping his hands with a wet tissue, and taking his phone to book a car. “Can you wait until we leave before you do that?”

“But, Soo-“

“Ah, um. We should clean up,” Minseok says, and he’s sounding a lot like his usual self again, and Chanyeol looks at him. His cheeks are so, so red, and he won’t look up as he gathers the empty chip packets and empty cookie trays and the glasses used by everyone. 

He’s embarrassed, and Chanyeol cooes, but helps him anyway, picking up the bottles and stashing away into the liquor cabinet whatever hasn’t been drank yet. It’s easy, quiet and comforting between them, though Minseok is still visibly blushing, and Chanyeol knows he’s flustered, and it’s endearing, but he keeps his smile to himself. 

It’s not often Minseok is very flustered or embarrassed, and the moments he are, they are endlessly precious. Chanyeol falls in love again. 

“I got the company van to come,” Kyungsoo pops his head into the kitchen. He fixes his glasses, tells them, “Seunghwan chewed me out, but he’ll drive us back to the dorms.”

“I’m sorry for being inappropriate,” Minseok says, just as Chanyeol says, “The guest room is really nice though, the bed is huge.”

“It is quite nice, but we know how noisy you get when you have sex. Two years worth of the sex noises in the dorms is enough for any of us to live through,” Kyungsoo says, just like he’s talking about the weather, or what ingredients he needs to make some dish he’d been planning. 

Chanyeol blushes, but only slightly. Two years of teasing and he’d developed quite a thick skin and tolerance for remarks about their sex life. He’s not quite affected by any of it anymore, and it’s all his to win, with the way nothing is ever as good as Minseok pounding into him, or having Minseok riding him, or Minseok cuddling him post fuck. 

Minseok is not quite there yet as he is, still quite protective whenever any of them tease Chanyeol, mostly, but neither of them are ashamed. And everyone else is used to it, anyway. 

“And don’t think about it, hyung,” Kyungsoo says, looking to Minseok. His smile is small, sincere, as he says, “It’s your time together. Just stay safe.”

“Oh, it’s all good, we had ourselves tested,” Chanyeol says, no sense of shame. Minseok goes even redder in the face, and Kyungsoo blinks at him. 

“That’s not what - you know what, nevermind, that’s good,” Kyungsoo says, not looking flustered, but exhausted. 

Seunghwan gets there in good time, and the others are woken up, eyes blinking blearily and words slurred as they’re helped up, and by the time everyone is deposited into the car, they’re all asleep again, and Kyungsoo is looking at everyone with fondness, the kind that sighs sometimes with exasperation but doesn’t want to change anything, for anything. 

“Good luck with the fanmeet, hyung, I know you’ll do well,” he greets Minseok, hugging him before he goes. He turns to hug Chanyeol, and despite his hopes for nice parting words, Kyungsoo tells him, “Don’t get nailed too hard that you can’t walk, Yeol.”

“Where’s the fun in that,” Chanyeol frowns at him, fully intending to get fucked hard enough that he feels it for weeks. There’s much christening that needs to be done, after all. 

The first words that are said when they’re back up in the apartment, however, are, “I’m sorry, baby.”

Chanyeol looks at Minseok, blinking, a little confused. “What for, Minnie?”

“I was too forward,” he says, patting his cheeks, looking so warm. “I kissed you in front of everyone, and being a little tipsy is not an excuse at all, I’m sorry for being so flirty, I should have waited until we were alone-“

“Minnie, it’s okay,” Chanyeol says, sidles up to him, wraps him up in his arms. “I liked it. A lot. And it’s nothing they’re not used to.”

“That’s not an excuse,” he sighs. He leans against Chanyeol, looking criminally adorable as he pouts, and Chanyeol leans down, kisses him, long, loving. 

“Minnie. Baby,” Chanyeol says, smiling as he looks at him, “It really is okay. And I love you a lot, too.”

Minseok blushes again, and Chanyeol grins, leaning in again and kiss his cheeks, little bites with his lips, and Minseok is wriggling, flustered, pinking up even more, and loving it. 

“But. You were being really mean with your hands earlier,” Chanyeol says suddenly, pulling back, and pouting. Minseok’s eyebrows furrow, lips in a small frown, and looking ready to apologize, but before he can, Chanyeol goes on to say, “So near to my dick, and we haven’t done anything sexy in so long, I was about to whine. Or cry. Or both.”

Minseok blinks, and the flustered blush turns into a quirked eyebrow, and a knowing gaze that makes Chanyeol’s belly warm, wanting. Minseok is like a magic sex fairy, always so often innocent and embarrassed one moment, then the next, he has the sex eyes on and Chanyeol is the one kneeling for him. 

It’s always quite a good thing for Chanyeol, really. He often is on the receiving end of that stare, and it leads to great nights, or mornings. Often both. 

And it’s true, that they haven’t had sex in the apartment yet. Two years of kicking Jongin or Jongdae out and having to endure complaints in the morning, and now they have a little more blessed freedom, and he plans to take advantage of it in many explicit, sexy ways. 

“This place hasn’t seen indecency yet,” Minseok tells him. 

“Not even a jerk-off?”

“Why would I simply jerk off when you exist in my life?”

“Yes,  _ yes,  _ completely correct,” Chanyeol says, and he beams, before leaning down, pressing his lips onto Minseok’s, both their mouths slightly wet, a little numb, and it’s hot between them, licking into each other’s mouths without much thought and tasting one another, breathing it all in. 

“Where do you want to go first, baby?” Minseok asks him, nipping at his jaw, and Chanyeol is shaking a little, and it’s been a little too long. 

“Your carpet,” he says breathlessly as Minseok makes him shrug off his coat, unbuttoning his shirt without thought as he trails his lips down his neck. 

“My carpet? It’s too expensive for sex.”

_ “Exactly,”  _ Chanyeol says, grabbing him, and walking them backwards, tumbling down to the sofa and attacking Minseok’s mouth, licking in and grinding down his hips and Minseok lets him take, opening his mouth obediently and spreading his legs so he fits in more comfortably. They fit well together, know each other so well they know, wordlessly, how to move, how to make each other more comfortable, how to make everything so  _ good,  _ how to make each time even better. 

Years of training together, being friends, being in a group together, working together. Loving each other,  _ loving  _ each other, settled deep into their skin, and it’s barely a thought. 

Chanyeol tries adjusting on top of him, tucking his knees under, and of course, he loses balance, and somehow gets them off the couch, and he lands on the carpet with his back on the floor, and Minseok chuckles, brushing back his hair. 

“Baby. Be patient, I’ll fuck you good,” Minseok tells him, and Chanyeol feels that, deep in his chest, and he moans, unable to hold it in, and his legs shake around Minseok’s waist. Minseok leans down, kisses him, says, “Give me a moment, love, I need to get some things.”

“No condom,” Chanyeol says brightly, maybe desperately, and Minseok gives him a little look. “I didn’t go through that testing to not have you come inside.”

“What’s gotten you to think so  _ filthily,”  _ Minseok says, looking too pleased, and he knows what the answer is. Chanyeol pulls him down, makes out with him for a good minute, and pushes him away suddenly, and wrestling with his pants. 

“Go,  _ go,  _ if I don’t get you in me in the next five seconds-“

“Brat,” Minseok says, sounding slightly winded, and Chanyeol grins, shrugging off his pants and underwear as Minseok stands and goes to get what they need, and Chanyeol is shoving off his socks and shirt and he’s naked, already short of breath and staring at the ceiling, half-hard. 

He breathes deeply, taking in the carefully adjusted warmth Minseok curated for the apartment, feeling his nipples peak, and he can’t quite hold back. He takes his cock in his hand, and slowly strokes himself, getting himself even harder. He thinks about being taken on Minseok’s fancy carpet, defiling the place, and it fills his brain, making him pump harder, rougher. 

It’s almost enough to forget the fact that Minseok won’t be here to do this with him in less than two weeks. 

“Ah. That’s quite a view.”

Chanyeol looks up, and Minseok is standing a few feet away, watching him, palming himself through his pants. Chanyeol feels his mouth water. 

“It’s been over five seconds and somehow, your fingers aren’t in me yet,” he bites out, and Minseok smirks, before he pulls off his hoodie, then his shirt, revealing his broad, gorgeous shoulders, built arms that Chanyeol wants to bite into and maybe be crushed a little by, and his torso, thick and muscled and begging to be licked. 

He comes down to the carpet, and Chanyeol is fighting with his pants immediately, unbuttoning and pushing down to get him naked, as soon as possible. 

“Baby,” Minseok admonishes him lightly as he gets naked, shucking off the pants and underwear around his ankles, toeing off his socks, and looking too relaxed when Chanyeol wants him inside him, immediately.

“Minnie, Minnie,  _ please,”  _ he whimpers, then cries, grabbing Minseok’s arms when he rocks down his cock onto Chanyeol’s own, and they’re both hard, hot, and Chanyeol is trembling with it. Minseok, insufferable tease that he is, brings his head down and licks over Chanyeol’s nipples, biting and soothing over with the flat of his tongue, and Chanyeol starts to cry, frustrated, turned on.

“Stop being mean,” he whines, and Minseok comes up, kisses him.

“Sorry, sorry Yeollie,” he murmurs, pressing his lips gently against his one more time, before he reaches over, and blessedly starts pouring some lube over his fingers to prepare him for his cock. 

When he pushes in the first finger, it’s relief and ache all at once, and Chanyeol moans, spreading his legs even more as his hole is stretched, adjusting around the one finger pushing gently, then all at once into him.

“Oh,  _ oh,  _ that feels -  _ fuck,”  _ he whimpers, throwing his head back on the carpet and trying to be good, but his hips won’t stop pumping, trying to take more as Minseok fucks him with two fingers. “I,  _ ah,  _ it’s been a while.”

“It has,” Minseok hums, kissing him again as he stretches him carefully, pouring on more lube and pushing his fingers into him again. “Ah, but you can be as loud as you want now. No more roommates to complain, hmm?”

“I -  _ oh fuck, there,  _ fuck,” Chanyeol can barely speak as Minseok brushes against that spot inside him, and his ass clenches around his three fingers, unwilling to let him go. “Oh, oh fuck.”

“Hmm, baby,” Minseok cooes at him, and Chanyeol tries to glare at him, but Minseok just smirks, angling his fingers just  _ so,  _ and Chanyeol is moaning and spreading his legs, thighs shaking as he begs for his cock. 

“Please, Minnie, fuck me, fuck,” he cries, and he’s loud, and Minseok just eggs him on, licking up his neck and encouraging the noise. When Minseok goes down to touch his cock, Chanyeol shakes his head, pushing his hand away. “No, I’ll I might explode, if you do. Want to come later, with you in me.”

Minseok looks at him, and then smiles gently. Leans down and kisses him, licking across his teeth, tells him, “Hands and knees, Yeol.”

He’s barely done speaking before Chanyeol does as he’s told and gets up on all fours, and Minseok is spreading his own shirt below him, in a move to keep the carpet clean, and Chanyeol huffs, pushing his ass back against him to know how much he wants him inside, right that minute. 

His hole feels infuriatingly empty, and his sweat is cooling, and the carpet is pretty but it’s not exactly comfortable. Minseok pushes away the coffee table to make more space for them, and Chanyeol hears the click of the lubricant tube opening, and almost sobs with relief. 

He actually does, when Minseok takes hold of his hips, circling his rim one more time with his thumb, and then. His cock, glorious, thick, perfect, starts pushing into him, naked, slowly to begin with, until he’s inside him completely, filling him up and lighting him up from the inside.

Chanyeol moans, head hanging low as he sets himself down to his elbows, raising his ass up higher as he adjusts around Minseok’s cock, girth thick and stretching out his hole to its limits. They know each other intimately, so well, knowing what the other likes and how to tease and what makes them snap and come, and when Minseok starts pulling back, it’s exactly when Chanyeol is ready, a wordless exchange filled with moans and then a whine that trails off when Minseok fucks back into him, pushing into his ass and their skin smacking together as they meet.

“Fuck,” Chanyeol swears, trying not to collapse, barely a minute into it and his knees already struggling to keep his weight up, and Minseok grinds into him, so deep, until his balls are grinding against him and his asscheeks are cushioned on Minseok’s strong, unfaltering thighs. He feels so  _ full,  _ Minseok’s cock so hard and hot inside him, welcomed home and fucking into him as he establishes a pace, hard and pounding but careful, making Chanyeol feel  _ everything.  _

It’s not their first time having sex without anything between them, though it’s not something they do often. But when they do, Chanyeol can’t quite deny that he looks forward to it: the feeling of Minseok’s come filling him up, then dripping down from his hole, to slide down his thighs. It often leads to several more rounds, vigorous and thoroughly sexy, even though the washing up is definitely not. But on occasion, Minseok would slither down, eat his come out of his ass, and Chanyeol would cry and sob and on those days, they’re kicked out of the dorms for bad behavior by the others. Those are the best days.

Minseok glides his palms over Chanyeol’s back, down his waist, hips, then settling over Chanyeol’s ass. He spreads his cheeks, watches as he plunges his cock into Chanyeol’s ass, and Chanyeol knows his ass is pretty, pink and stretched as he takes him, and Minseok moans, fucking harder. Praises him, cock driving in faster, saying, “So tight, baby. Such a tight ass-”

“Yes,  _ yes,”  _ he whimpers, lowering his face onto the carpet and breathing labored as he closes his eyes, focused on the feeling of being fucked.

“Your ass is so sweet,  _ fuck,  _ Yeollie,” Minseok says, giving him the lightest of love taps on the fattest part of his ass, and Chanyeol groans, squeezing around his length, and wanting more.

“Wanna ride, ah  _ shit,”  _ he barely gets out, but it’s enough for Minseok to understand. He covers Chanyeol’s back with his chest, kisses his shoulder, then guides Chanyeol’s head so he can kiss him properly. 

Minseok pulls out, and Chanyeol gets on him immediately. Pushes him back to sit on the floor, making him lean against the sofa and settling on his lap, bringing his head down to kiss him, pushing his tongue into his mouth and getting close, as close as he can get without completely melting into him. 

He licks across Minseok’s lips, tongue diving back into his mouth, and he shuffles closer, dragging his ass, leaking with lube over Minseok’s lap as he gets them flush, chests pressed together as he flings his arms around him.

“Get on my cock, love,” Minseok says, lips pressed steadily against Chanyeol’s jaw, and he helps him, moving him along to get him where he wants to be. “Sit on my cock.”

Chanyeol kisses him again,  _ loves  _ Minseok’s lips, so pouty and generous and smooth and always fitting so perfectly against his own, and he moans as he reaches back, taking Minseok’s cock and making Minseok bite his lips at the movement, and guiding it to where he’s open and waiting for him, needing to be filled well. 

Chanyeol sinks down on his length, moaning all the while as he fills himself up, and Minseok holds him, hands on his waist, and lips, a menace, tonguing around his nipples and sucking on them, sensitive and making Chanyeol’s toes curl and gasps leave his mouth.

“Hmmm, so tight still. Like you can’t get enough,” Minseok says, and he has that right. Chanyeol grips his shoulders, looking down and keeping his gaze steaming as he starts riding him, rolling his hips and he wanted to be seductive and shit and drive Minseok crazy with his ass powers, but he’s already falling apart, fully overwhelmed and moaning endlessly as he rides him. 

He whimpers, moving his hands to the sofa cushions and nails biting down as he bounces on Minseok’s cock, fucking himself. “Fuck,  _ fuck, so good.  _ Harder, harder baby-”

“Come on, ride me,” Minseok tells him, and Chanyeol almost growls at him, thinking,  _ ‘What do you think I’ve been doing, you dick?’,  _ but Minseok thrusts up, holding his ass in place and driving into his ass.

Chanyeol gasps, moans as he falls against Minseok, letting him hammer into him from below, and the slight smirk on Minseok’s face is telling, and it’s clear:  _ ‘I know, baby.’ _

They move together, Chanyeol riding him, rocking his hips and sinking down on him, and Minseok moving his own, pounding into Chanyeol and his hands, hot on Chanyeol’s skin as Minseok holds him close. As Chanyeol fucks himself, his own cock rubs against Minseok’s hard stomach, and he can’t stop the moans that stream out from his lips, the friction sweet relief as he chases his orgasm, Minseok ramming into him and filling him up with cock, and his own length rubbing and dripping pre-come all over their bellies. 

“Minnie,  _ baby,  _ fuck,” he sobs, desperately reaching for his face and smashing their lips together. Minseok kisses back, opening his mouth diligently as Chanyeol whines for him, shoving his tongue right in there and tasting him, grounding himself and trying not to lose his mind so much.

“It’s okay, baby, I’ve got you,” Minseok murmurs, kissing him, comforting him as Chanyeol whimpers, and kissing his cheek lovingly as he moves and sets a sobbing Chanyeol with his back down on the carpet, carefully settling on top of him and brushing his hair back gently.

Chanyeol doesn’t even really realize he’d been crying, only registering his wet cheeks and the wetness leaking from his eyes when Minseok kisses him with wet lips, and he tastes the salt on his own tongue. It’s not the first time he’d cried over Minseok’s dick, but it feels different this time and they both know it. 

“Minnie, baby,” he whimpers, moans when Minseok pushes his cock back into him, and his cock is aching with the need to come. 

Minseok understands, and he fucks Chanyeol harder, without abandon. He pistons his cock into Chanyeol’s hole, ramming in and Chanyeol spreads his legs as far as they can go, feeling the ache in his hips as he does, and he’s just about lost his mind, full of cock and pleasure reaching to the tips of his fingers as Minseok drills into him, fucking him into the floor.

“Love you, my baby,” Minseok hums against his mouth, moaning as Chanyeol squeezes around his length, fucking him faster.

“Love you,  _ fuck, I love you,”  _ Chanyeol says, says it against Minseok’s cheeks as he fucks,  _ slams  _ his cock into his ass, both of them chasing their climaxes.

Chanyeol doesn’t know who comes first. Just knows that all of a sudden, the heat in his belly snaps, and he’s yelling as he shoots white between them, the rubbing between their bodies enough to get him to spill over, and that Minseok groans, thrusting without much of a pace and then stopping, grinding into Chanyeol, come gushing into him.

“Fuck,” Minseok breathes, sighing as he comes down, kissing Chanyeol’s temple comfortingly. “Are you alright?”

“I’m conflicted,” he says slowly, brain still slightly addled, “on whether we should always wait a while before having sex so it can be  _ that good  _ each time. Or having sex every night, because. You know, your dick, and ass. Always a blessing.”

“What about a happy middle?” Minseok offers, beginning to slowly pull out. His come coats his dick, and drips out of Chanyeol’s hole, a small stream of white, and his eyes go dark as he looks on. Chanyeol squirms a little, already feeling heated all over again as Minseok eyes him, and the come inside doesn’t feel gross yet, just makes him feel hot as hell, even more so when he reaches down and tries pushing a finger inside, keeping the come in his ass.

“There aren’t any happy middles when it comes to -  _ holy fuck,”  _ Chanyeol screams when Minseok bends down low, gets his mouth on his ass and licks his ass, just the once because he’s an awful tease, and he’s hovering over Chanyeol, eyes smiling as he licks over the come on his lips.

“Hmm. Lovely.”   
“You’re, fuck. I’m still shaking,” he says, and he is, his body trembling as it remembers Minseok’s cock inside him, the pleasure he’d given him so generously. And  _ that tongue,  _ in his ass, Chanyeol whimpers, covers his eyes with his arm, tries to get a hold of himself. 

“It’s a good thing my shirt is there, you’re  _ leaking,”  _ Minseok says conversationally, and Chanyeol glares at him, but goes along willingly as Minseok help him to sit up, walking them over to his master bathroom inside his bedroom. “Would be quite a pain to get come stains out.”

“I hate you,” Chanyeol mumbles, but goes easily as Minseok pushes him into the shower to clean up, the warm water feeling so nice, but Minseok washing him down and naked wet cuddling as water comes down on them feels even nicer. 

He’s pretty sure he falls asleep while under the shower. Doesn’t matter, because Minseok dries him, and sets him down on the bed, super fucking fluffy and soft, before settling in next to him. Even asleep, Chanyeol looks for him, reaching out until he’s comforted by Minseok’s skin on his own. And they sleep.

.

It’s cold when he semi-wakes up. He blinks slowly, registering he’s alone in the bed, covers pulled up to his chin, and the sun is barely up, by the looks of the too soft light coming from the window next to the bed.

He sits up slowly, rubbing his eyes, hair all over the place, and the clock on the nightstand reads  _ ‘6:14.’  _ He groans, flopping back down to the bed, grabbing the blankets listlessly.

“Ah. Why are you awake?”

He wants to ask himself that. He moves his head from where his face is smashed down on the duvet, and Minseok is coming out of his dressing room, dressed in a tank top and joggers, fixing his hair simply. 

“The bed felt empty,” Chanyeol says, trying to sound annoyed, but really, his chest is heavy, sad. He can barely sleep without Minseok, the past few years have spoiled him, with his solid, warm body always next to him, curled up behind him, keeping him tethered to the moments. 

Just a few more days, now.

“I’m sorry,” he says, putting on a cap and jacket, grabbing his crossbody pouch bag as he makes to leave. “I have a full day of practice and rehearsals. There’s a lot that needs to be done.”

Chanyeol hums, trying to sit up again, but he ends up falling back down on the bed, too sleepy. 

He hears Minseok chuckle, endeared, and he’s walking towards him, helping him sit up properly. Minseok angles his face up gently, and Chanyeol blinks up at him, his bright, beautiful, glowy boyfriend, and smiles dopily, so in love. 

Minseok smiles in return, leans down to kiss him lovingly. He tastes like toothpaste, and Chanyeol hums, wanting a little more, Minseok giving in easily. 

“You can stay here, if you want,” Minseok tells him tenderly, brushing his hair away from Chanyeol’s face, kissing his cheek, forehead. 

“M’kay,” Chanyeol says, beaming up at him. Fuck, he’s so in love. “What time will you get back?” 

“Very late, I’m afraid,” Minseok says apologetically. “Maybe even early tomorrow morning.”

“Ah, alright,” Chanyeol says, pulling back a little. Minseok’s face drops, but he pulls back as well, staying respectful, and Chanyeol tries not to pout too much, despite himself. “Um, I’ll just lock up after myself, if I leave before you make it back?”

“Yeah, okay,” Minseok says, voice like a gentle balm. Chanyeol tries wrapping himself in all the blankets, feeling a tightness in his chest that is overwhelming, a beautiful warmth only Minseok gives him. He feels a little foolish, for moving away when Minseok can’t help it, needs to work hard to give everyone the good show they deserve, but. He can’t help it, they only have so many days together now. He wants to extract, squeeze out every moment he can get from every second. “But, maybe. If you want to come back here, just in case.”

He takes out a key from his pocket, attached to a small fluffy keychain of a black puppy, one that remarkably looks like Toben. Minseok gives it to him, and Chanyeol takes it, stares at it as it sits on his palm.

“Okay,” he says, “I’ll give it back to you later.”

Minseok blinks at him, and says, “No, baby. That’s  _ your  _ key.”

Chanyeol pauses, blinks. Goes, “Oh,” and he looks down, and his heart jumps into his throat, and he tears up. He certainly hadn’t expected this, not this early in the morning, not ever. And to be trusted like this, loved like this. Understood, the way Minseok does, he’s so lucky. He suddenly wants to apologize, for being petty, for being selfish with Minseok’s time, but Minseok just comes down, cups his face. Kisses him so sweetly, full of understanding and love, and Chanyeol loves him endlessly. 

“I’ll see you soon,” Minseok says tenderly, before leaning in to press one more kiss on his lips. 

“Okay,” Chanyeol says, “have a good day. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Chanyeol,” he says. His eyes are so soft, so fond. “I understand.”

“I love you,” Chanyeol says, blinking as the tears drop from his eyes. Minseok wipes them away, kisses him again. 

“Love you, too,” Minseok says. He smiles, and, it looks with great difficulty, he leaves, looking back to smile gently back at him as he goes out to the hallway. Chanyeol waits, sits until he hears the front door open, then close, and he starts crying again. Lays down in Minseok’s sheets and curls up in them, feeling like he doesn’t deserve any of this at all. 

He cries, hiccups, sniffs, all so ungracefully. Looks around him, and is enveloped by such a comforting sense of home, though he hasn’t been here too many times. 

He’s still crying, but pulls himself together as best as he can. Gets his phone from where Minseok had thoughtfully placed it on the nightstand last night, and opens his messages. Creates a whole new chat, making sure to not include Minseok in it, and sends a message to everyone, straightforward, direct:  _ ‘please don’t add anything to your schedules on the 4th.’ _

_ ‘hyung wtf why r u awake,’  _ Jongin sends first, probably just about to sleep in London.  _ ‘isn’t it like….early?’ _

_ ‘oh! you’re awake too?’  _ Yixing sends.  _ ‘what is it?’ _

He sniffs, rubbing his nose as he types and sends in consecutive short worded messages,  _ ‘we need to be here, all of us, when minnie does his show. we need to be here for him.’ _

_ ‘ahhh :( it might be hard for me. but I’ll find a way to be with all of you,’  _ Yixing sends. 

Jongin doesn’t reply, and Chanyeol knows he’s probably already asleep, so he just sends,  _ ‘it’s okay hyung I understand, we miss you :(((,’  _ knowing well that no one else is awake now. They’ll see it later, when they do, to send the ball rolling, and Chanyeol drifts off back to sleep, head full. 

.

It’s hard, keeping things hidden from Minseok, but he does, coordinating with everyone, the managers, helping Jongin get a flight out and arranging for transportation straight from the airport, scheduling with Yixing so he’ll be completely available and oncall for the end. 

The day of the fanmeeting, he thinks he might be even more nervous than Minseok might be. Everyone is backstage in a secret room, Jongdae reporting every now and then, Minseok thinking he’d been the only one who had come. They had all wished him good luck in the group chat, Chanyeol outdoing them all with too many emojis and selfies of himself and eventually, he’s sure that Kyungsoo had muted his messages. Minseok was thankful just for that, saying he would work hard and see them all later for dinner. 

Chanyeol can’t wait to see his face later. 

A feed is set up in their room, and they watch as the show goes on. Minseok performing, being himself and having fun. Smiling brightly and being playful and working so hard, on his own. 

“Can you still reach that, hyung?” Sehun asks Baekhyun as Minseok goes for the high note in  _ Wolf  _ during the medley later on, and they all know it’s a fanmeeting, but it might as well be a concert, with everything Minseok is doing. 

Baekhyun watches, then he tries quietly, just to himself. He makes a strange expression as he eeks it out, a little squeak of noise, and he snaps his fingers, pleased with himself. “Nailed it.”

“I don’t think that counts,” Junmyeon says, and they’re all still watching Minseok go through all their songs. Chanyeol notes that they all looked exhausted while doing so; doing an EXO song as a group was tiring enough; Minseok really didnhave a godly stamina to want to do it. 

And it’s inevitable that Chanyeol would start crying, really crying, when Minseok sings  _ You,  _ heart bare for everyone to see as he sings simply and honestly. He wipes his face, and everyone is quiet in the room as they watch the feed. Jongin and Jongdae sit on either side of him, rubbing his back to comfort him. 

It hurts. He’d been smiling, doing his best to stay cheerful and have fun because that’s what Minseok would have wanted, and he’s trying to stay as positive as he can. But hearing him sing like this is a punch to his gut, much more painful than he thought it would be. It hurts, but it’s also because he’s so emotional, so touched with the words. 

“You must be proud of him,” Jongin says, leaning against Chanyeol’s shoulder and sounding fond as Minseok finishes off the song to warm applause. As if he isn’t saying goodbye for now to Minseok too, to an older brother who took care of them all so well, and it puts things in perspective for Chanyeol. He’s not the only one who’s going through this, and he wipes his tears, trying to compose himself, and be there for everyone too. 

“I think we all are,” he says, smiling, though it’s a little wobbly, but it’s honest. 

It feels like no time at all before they’re being herded out to the side of the stage, hiding from view as Minseok does what he thinks are his final greetings, playing with the crowd and taking pictures. 

“You’re not going to cry, are you, Yeol?” Junmyeon asks him, and Chanyeol brings out his phone, ready to record. 

“No,” he says, deciding that he’s shed enough tears. He will be as strong a support as he can be, for his partner, and for everyone next to him. “I bet Jongin will, though.”

“Shut up, I won’t,” he pouts, “I’m gonna get him to cry first,” and Baekhyun steps out first to the light, Chanyeol following him, phone up and his eyes only on Minseok. 

He’ll never forget his face like this, upon seeing them all. So surprised, making a small noise of shock as they all come out to greet him, and Chanyeol is thankful he’s recording this. Seeing Minseok so bright, happy and full of light and love for all of them, for him, and playing with his camera, coming up and covering it with his hands and Chanyeol feels every urge to to kiss him, because Minseok makes him so fucking happy, makes him feel better than he is. He resists, if only because there are tens of thousands of fans in the arena, full to the brim, and. Minseok has filled this place, right on his own, and Chanyeol is filled with pride. 

They’re a bit of a mess onstage, as they usually are. They’d walked out with an outline of an outline of a plan of what to say, who goes first and what to do, but it’s kind of all over the place but still kind of organized all the same. 

They manage to connect to Yixing, and Minseok sounds so happy, hearing him, and Chanyeol knows all the effort had been worth it. The whole call is a mess, and it’s so them, very much worth it. And then Jongin starts crying, unable to continue with what he’d been planning to say, and Chanyeol had been right, but it’s not really a victory, with the way he chokes up and Minseok pulls him in for a hug. 

He knows Minseok will cry before he actually does it, the shine of his eyes too bright as he smiles, slightly pinched, and then it falls in a split second. He’s hiding his face in his elbow, burrowing into Jongin’s arms, and the wave of sobbing in the arena is audible, as it becomes apparent that Minseok had started crying, never releasing Jongin from the embrace. Crying isn’t something he does much, if at all, and it sets off the fans, emotions already running quite high. 

Chanyeol’s eyes water as Minseok turns his back to everyone, bending over to try to stave off any oncoming sobs, and Jongin, Junmyeon are already there, rubbing his back, giving him a bit of comfort. Baekhyun is keeping the atmosphere light, though Chanyeol knows he must be emotional himself, and Jongdae is taking care of him, fetching a towel for him to dry his tears on. 

It’s heavy on his heart. He’s saying goodbye to his boyfriend, and the others are saying goodbye to their best friend, someone so precious to all of them. 

He walks over, blinking his eyes rapidly and breathing in so he won’t break down, and he manages to be rather calm when he walks over to where they’re huddled together, comforting Minseok, and he joins in, feigning casual as he says, in a small stammer, “Sehun and I haven’t said our speeches yet.”

There’s a little laughter amongst the cries, and the atmosphere is still sad, heavy, but in the very least, it doesn’t stay there, and Minseok stands, hiccupping as the tears fall, and Chanyeol’s chest aches with his. He pats the back of his head, brushing his hair and giving him quiet comfort, wanting to do more, but he can’t risk it here, now. Minseok leans against his palm, crying still, but he resolutely starts to turn back to the crowd, sobbing, but strong. Seeing his face makes everyone cry harder, but Kyungsoo balances the mood again just a bit later, saying, “It’s not like he’s migrating to another country.”

Chanyeol speaks last. And, he doesn’t even know what to say. 

He looks at Minseok, his face still wet, and he thinks he had the words earlier, but. He really doesn’t. 

So. He talks simply, says what he can, even though it doesn’t feel like it’s enough, “A few days ago, we were drinking soju, and Minseok kept trying to kiss me, saying he loved me.”

Last words he’ll say in public for the next year and a half for Minseok, and he starts it out like this. Everyone is laughing, not knowing any better, and it’s typical and expected, that he wants to slap his own face a little, but Minseok listens to him, not quite looking at his face, embarrassed by his tears and Chanyeol knows it’s because of Minseok looks at him, he’ll cry even more. 

He understands. So he continues to say, “Do you remember?” And there wouldn’t be any way for him not to, not that night they spent together. So Chanyeol skips the other details, says what he feels he can share, “We talked a lot, that night. About how hard he was preparing for this day, how hard he worked for everyone.”

He thinks about what to say, how to end well, give Minseok assurance. He says, “While you’re over there, being cool and doing well as the first one to go, we’ll cheer for you from the outside. Okay?” he says after a pause, looking at Minseok, waiting for him to nod, however minutely. “You’ll come back well, right? Honestly, I’m not worried about you, because I know you’ll do well, like I said before. Please, come back safely.”

“Thank you,” Minseok says, voice the slightest bit shaky, but he’s smiling, and Chanyeol smiles, hugs him. Minseok’s hand rests on his waist, squeezes, reassuring, and they part, but it's enough. 

It feels like the night goes quickly, from there. He recalls offering to buzz off Minseok’s hair, getting punched playfully for it, aging a lot of grilled meat and beer and soju with Minseok and his friends, then going home with him, christening the sofa next, because they’d been too impatient to make it to the bed. It had been particularly soft, that night.

They don’t go out too much, the next few days. They’re spent together, cooking, eating, and Chanyeol makes good on that promise of teaching him how to bowl properly, and Minseok doesn’t let him shave his head, but he comes along when he gets the cut. He’s achingly handsome, even with the hair gone, and he spends the rest of the day rubbing his head, kissing it, and Minseok lets him. 

The last days are good, happy, but they’re still painful, as many last good things are. But Chanyeol sees Minseok, bright despite his impending goodbye, so he does his best to smile for him, the whole way through. 

It’s hard. He does it, but it’s hard. 

.

The day Minseok enlists, Chanyeol wakes up earlier than he usually does.

There’s no packing to be done; Minseok had finished preparing days ago. There’s no cleaning to be done either; Minseok cleaned the place down, preparing it for a temporary abandonment, and it was never really messy in the first place. 

It feels weird. Final, heavy, unsure, but Minseok kisses him before they lock the apartment up, long, loving. Steady, as he always is. And it’s enough to give Chanyeol heart, for now. 

He drives Minseok to the center, the ride quiet between them, and Minseok holds his hand, warm, gentle. 

There are around thirty people to see Minseok off. His friends, some staff, the members, Changmin. Everyone gets their time with him, hugging him, giving him words of encouragement. 

The seven of them get their pictures together. Chanyeol starts rubbing his hair, and the others follow, touching his buzzed head, and it’s another picture, another memory. Someone will post it, maybe Sehun, definitely Junmyeon. Chanyeol considers posting something, too, but that’s for later. They all laugh, and get their hugs, each one lasting longer than the next. 

Chanyeol doesn’t know what to say to him, doesn’t know how to say his goodbyes. He doesn’t seem to have any.

So, he doesn’t say them, pulls Minseok into an embrace, tucking his face into his neck. 

“I’ll see you soon,” he just says, with all the love he can. 

He doesn’t let go, and neither does Minseok, who rubs his back and stands calmly, quietly. He doesn’t seem too sad, if a little reluctant to go, but he’s ready. Chanyeol knows he is, and he’ll do well, do even better than everyone’s expectations of him.

He’s their oldest, after all. Their strong hyung. His beautiful other half. 

The other members, Minseok’s friends, shield them, block them from view from curious eyes, giving them their moment. They’re both very thankful.

Chanyeol doesn’t cry, but still. It’s quiet and painful, and he’s the one who pulls away, because he knows Minseok wouldn’t even though he needs to get going. But Minseok pulls him back in, kisses his cheek lovingly, tells him tenderly, “I love you. I’ll be back soon.”

He sucks in a breath, holds him tight one more time. “I love you. I’ll wait for you.”

And he lets go. Minseok’s warm smile tides him over, until he’s waving to everyone, and leaving. 

Then, Chanyeol goes, and waits for him.

.

He stays busy, more or less. Writing music, doing rehearsals with everyone for the concert, shooting commercials, magazine editorials. It’s like, each day without MInseok drags through, time slow, but at the end of the days, when he looks back, it seems like they had just passed by.

It certainly feels different. Not quite eggshells, because everyone had been together for so long, are friends for life, so they still play, are still bright. But, it’s different, and it will get even more so, when Kyungsoo goes. 

He’s handling it well, making plans for a simple goodbye, as he is, and he tells them not to think about it too much. “You’re all going to get even richer with tour money, you don’t need to be so sad,” he says frankly. All he’s hoping for is that the kitchen is close to where he’ll be staying. 

“You okay?” Junmyeon asks him, a week in. 

Truthfully, Chanyeol doesn’t know what to say. He’d been keeping busy, so he doesn’t ponder too much over the little emptiness in his life.

But, it never quite works. He tries not to look for Minseok at home, tries not to look at the key he’d given him to his apartment, open for him to use, stay in, but being surrounded in a place Minseok had thought up of, put a lot of himself to, where they’d been together, is a punishing thought. 

“I’m okay,” he answers. Pauses, adds quietly, “It’s hard. But it has to be harder for him, so I’m doing my best. I won’t complain.”

Junmyeon looks at him, tells him, “You don’t have to hold it in, you know? You can talk to us.”

Chanyeol smiles at him, thankful for the offer, but he says, “I’ll be okay. And all of you, you can talk to me too. I know you’re missing him too.”

“Yes, especially when I’m wrangling all of you to do your work,” Junmyeon snorts, but he smiles, appreciative, understanding.

.

Youngmin, their other manager, sends him a link, and Chanyeol sends back a  _ ‘????’ _

_ ‘stupid,’  _ Youngmin replies.  _ ‘It’s minseok’s unit. there are weekly updates, every wednesday.’ _

Chanyeol blinks, and opens the link immediately, and it’s almost nothing. Something about meals, but there is a picture. A little grainy, but Minseok looks so young, even though he’s the oldest among them. Such a handsome face, bright, lovely, and he looks handsome in the uniform, and for a minute, Chanyeol is alright.

It drives him, keeps him going to work harder, to keep being busy as he can. Those Wednesday updates, pictures of Minseok working hard, proof of him doing well, motivation enough for years.

He misses him a lot, but Chanyeol works hard for them both. He’s sure Minseok is doing the same, in the ways he can. 

He hopes for little things. That he doesn’t get too tired when training, that the uniform isn’t too hot to wear, because Minseok sweats easily, and a lot. That the people he’s enlisted with are nice to him, that they treasure him as much as he, and the others, do. That squid doesn’t come out too often in the daily meal plans, that he doesn’t get hurt.

That he doesn’t forget Chanyeol, and that he somehow knows that Chanyeol thinks of him, all the time, and is already missing him.

.

“Chanyeol,” one of the managers calls him out in the middle of a photoshoot for the concert tour. 

He blinks, and the others blink with him, and they’re saying impatiently, “He only has so many minutes for this, don’t waste time, it’s Min-”

He’s scrambling up before he can finish, limbs flying all over the place as he gets to his feet and over to where his phone is held out for him, and he’s sure he kicks Baekhyun in the crotch, by the loud grunts he lets out and the swearing that follows.

He grabs his phone, running away as he says, “Minnie? Minnie, holy shit-”

There’s laughter, so warm and beautiful and Chanyeol’s chest aches with how much he’s missed hearing it, and he locks himself in the set’s bathroom, sitting on the toilet lid, just as Minseok greets him,  _ “Hi, baby.” _

“Baby, hello, I miss you,” Chanyeol breathes, holding his phone like a lifeline, so happy and already feeling like he’s close to tears. 

_ “Ah, I miss you more,”  _ Minseok says, and Chanyeol can just  _ see  _ the way he’s smiling, the way his eyes are probably just  _ shining,  _ just like the sun. His spring.  _ “They let me have this phone call. I did well today. I had a good shooting score.” _

“Oh, you’re doing so well,” Chanyeol says, just filled to the brim with pride, longing. “Like we all knew you would.”

_ “Hmm, it’s hard, the training. But It’s okay,”  _ he tells him, and really, Chanyeol can already hear the difference. His voice sounds the same, but there is this sturdiness, a steady tone that is stronger now than it ever was before. Still bright, but just slightly harder. 

It’s still full of love, when he says,  _ “I miss your smile. I hope you’re doing well, over there.” _

“I am, you don’t need to worry about me,” Chanyeol says, holding on to his words. These small blessings, even when they’re apart, they can still share something between just them. “We’re doing okay. Rehearsing, practicing. We, ah. We miss you, here. It’s different.”

_ “I miss all of you,”  _ Minseok says.  _ “But I’m sure all of you are working hard, doing well. I’m excited for everyone.” _

Chanyeol blinks, eyes stinging slightly, “I miss you. I’m making music, and it’s coming out well. I. It’s all for you. For me, everything is for you.”

Minseok pauses, for a long while. Then he says,  _ “Baby, do it for you. Because you love music. I’m touched, that you think of me, when you do something as precious to you as music is. But please, don’t forget yourself in doing it.” _

Chanyeol pauses, surprised. “Minnie?”

_ “Because there is nothing as good, nothing as beautiful as your words, your music, straight from your soul,”  _ he says, and Chanyeol hears his smile, clear in his words.  _ “Your purest thoughts, you put in your music, and to me, there is nothing more precious. Me, hearing your words and voice, in your music, just being yourself., whether or not it’s for me, or about me. It’s from you, and that’s all it needs.” _

Chanyeol sniffs loudly, wiping his eyes and his chest even tighter, but it’s not painful. Just, a balloon of joy, of being understood, and it’s relief, it’s love. “Okay. I understand. Thank you, Minnie.”

_ “Of course, Yeollie,”  _ he says, voice tender, and it aches, in that moment. Chanyeol misses him so much.  _ “I don’t have much time left. I just wanted to hear your voice. I feel like I’ve gained a lot of strength, now.” _

Chanyeol smiles, says, “Thank you for calling me. You could have called anyone, but you called me.”

_ “There is no one else for me but you,”  _ Minseok says, and Chanyeol feels like crying all over again.

“I miss you, don’t get hurt,” he says instead. 

_ “I’m doing my best, so I can see you sooner,”  _ Minseok says, and Chanyeol smiles, because he wants that too, but he doesn’t want Minseok to strain himself, stress himself out. He just wants him to be safe.

“Don’t think about that too much,” he says quietly, quiet all around him, the bathroom dark, but all he hears, sees is Minseok. “I’ll always be here. Just stay safe, stay healthy. Don’t get hurt.”

_ “I promise I’ll do my best,”  _ Minseok says. Chanyeol knows he’s out of time, and he’s sad, but fuck. He’s still thankful.  _ “I love you.” _

“I love you, stay safe,” he says, cries a little, and Minseok says it again, before the call ends. Chanyeol locks his phone, and sits a little longer in the silence of the bathroom, thankful no one is calling him back to set. Just so he can cry a little more, and be happy, and take it in the little happiness a phone call brought him.

.

It’s really peculiar, how time can, at times, feel long and in other instances, very brief. Like how the days, weeks, month pass at a snail’s pace waiting for news, no matter how grainy a photo or mundane a daily meal plan might be, waiting for Minseok, and then, suddenly, all of it, all the ache of not being together, is just something akin to a breeze, when Chanyeol wakes up too early for some reason and is subsequently in a little bad mood, unable to go back to sleep, and he trudges down the stairs to get to the kitchen of the dormitory, and sitting there, nursing a small coffee and mocha muffin, is Minseok, still in his fatigues, bright, smiling, looking  _ so beautiful.  _

Chanyeol blinks, and it’s immediate. He starts tearing up, and makes an embarrassing noise he won’t remember later on, and he rushes over to him, clinging to him as he stands to greet him, his soft laughter so wonderful and making Chanyeol feel  _ so warm.  _ Koalas him, arms dangling over his shoulders as he hangs off of Minseok, legs crossed over his waist, and Chanyeol is really too tall to do this, and he’s a grown man, but Minseok just chuckles, holds him up well, stable and steady and his further developed strength is  _ sexy,  _ he’d probably deadlift Chanyeol and it’s a thought he’ll mark for later. 

For now, Minseok walks them over to more stable ground, carrying him, tries to seat them, but Chanyeol un-koalas him, standing back down properly and whimpering a little, touching Minseok everywhere he can, and pulls him in for a kiss. He’ll apologize for his morning breath later, but Minseok doesn’t seem to mind, kissing him deeper, pulling him in closer. 

Chanyeol kisses him, trying to get closer, licking against his lips and kissing over the little mole on Minseok’s Cupid’s bow, Minseok chuckling as he gives the little dot all his attention, puckering his lips so it stands out even more. 

Chanyeol never would have thought he would miss something so small as much as he did, but it’s so completely endearing, a tiny freckle on Minseok’s pretty lips, and he can’t stop. He presses his lips against the dot, completely in love, and then places continuous, soft presses of his lips on Minseok’s, one after the other, giving and taking at least several weeks’ worth of small kisses. Minseok lets him, smiling against his lips, just so happy to be here. 

“Hi, baby,” Minseok says quietly, just for him. Chanyeol sniffs, cups his face, kisses him again. “I’ve missed you.”

“Minseokkie,” he says, pouting as he tries to stop crying. Minseok kisses him, anchors him down. “You’re here, you’re  _ here.” _

“I’m here,” he says, eyes so tender and warm and Chanyeol feels him up, his shoulders feeling even broader, and his cheeks, so soft and plump and like a pillow, he’s so pretty Chanyeol wants to cry even more. 

“I’ve been thinking about you, all the time, even though that’s not really healthy,” Chanyeol says, pouting, wiping at his eyes. 

“It’s really not,” Minseok says kindly, thumb touching Chanyeol’s bottom lip gently, “you shouldn’t do that, it’s just me.”

_ “‘Just you?!’”  _ Chanyeol frowns at him, hugging a little. “Minnie. If you’d just known how hard it was, being with you all the time and then almost nothing at all. Like, I would dream about you and-“

He pauses, stopping himself, and steps back from Minseok, eyes wide. Minseok looks back, confused, and Chanyeol tries patting his cheeks, closing and opening his eyes repeatedly, and reaching out to touch Minseok in different spots. 

“Baby, what are you doing?” Minseok says, but Chanyeol doesn’t reply, still trying to figure out if he’s seeing things or he’s still asleep and dreaming or by some miracle, Minseok is really here. He can’t really trust himself, because he always,  _ always  _ wants to see Minseok. His judgement might be slightly skewed. 

“You’re real, aren’t you?” he says, and Minseok stares at him. “Wait, no, if you answer, it might just be my subconscious saying you’re really here and confirming my thoughts-“

“Chanyeol,” Minseok says, but Chanyeol shakes his head, trying to wake himself up from the dream. 

“I must still be asleep,” he says, and Minseok stares at him, amused and unimpressed simultaneously. 

“Why are you so noisy, no one else is awake yet,” Kyungsoo is coming into the kitchen then, sleepy, rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses, and Chanyeol and Minseok both look at him. 

“Soo,” Chanyeol says, “Can you see Minseok?”

“Chanyeol,” Minseok sighs, but he waves him off, starts gesticulating towards where he might be standing, for real or just in his head. 

“I’m not dreaming right? He’s really here?” he says, and Kyungsoo blinks at him, then at Minseok. He’s quiet for a while, then he walks over to him, silent. They stare at each other, toe to toe, and then. Kyungsoo leans down, hugs him. Tucks his head under Minseok’s chin, and his straight expression never leaves his face, staring straight ahead of him. Minseok looks down, confused, but holds him all the same, patting his back. 

“Never leave us again, hyung,” Kyungsoo says in such a serious tone. Minseok chuckles, brushing his hair with his fingers. 

“Not like you won’t be leaving either in a few months, Soo,” Minseok tells him, patting his head. 

“He’s real, Yeol,” Kyungsoo says. He doesn’t let go of him still. “It must have been hard, Min.”

“Ah. It was okay,” he says, smiling gently. It sounds like there’s something he wants to say, still, but he stops himself.

As Chanyeol looks at him carefully, Kyungsoo extracts himself, says, “I’ll make you some breakfast, hyung.”

“Ah, it’s alright, I’ve already had something to eat along the way-“

“This is not breakfast, this can barely be called  _ sustenance,”  _ Kyungsoo says of the muffin, glaring at it hard, and he goes to the kitchen to start preparing the food. 

Chanyeol looks back to him, and Minseok raises an eyebrow, smirking. 

“Think I’m still a dream?” he asks. 

“Metaphorically, yes, absolutely my dream. Physically, it’s debatable. I need more witnesses,” Chanyeol says, and Minseok snorts. Chanyeol jumps back on him, and Minseok catches him, and they embrace each other, just like that, for a long while. 

Later, when they’re sitting down and eating the breakfast of savory porridge Kyungsoo had prepared and fruits and eggs on the side, and after Jongdae and Baekhyun and Junmyeon had come down and stared in shock and attacked Minseok with hugs and kisses, Minseok explains, “I did rather well in training, so they rewarded me with a small vacation, so I went straight here after training finished.”

_ “‘Did well?’  _ It says you ranked first overall and they’re going to make you a training assistant,” Junmyeon says, reading through Twitter on his phone, giving Minseok a look.

His cheeks pink up, so cute, and Baekhyun teases him, “So you’re like the Daniel or Somi of military training, huh, hyung?”

“That’s not, no, that’s not how it is,” Minseok says, shaking his head, “never repeat those words again, Baek-”

“What’s wrong with being like Somi, hyung?”

“No, that’s not what I meant-”

“First in shooting, and high ranking in running, sit-ups, push-ups,” Junmyeon goes on, ignoring their bickering, reading more fan accounts. “Ah. The bar has been set. We have to do well, too, when it’s our turn.”

“As long as the kitchen is near,” Kyungsoo says casually, not caring about his own ranking at all.

Chanyeol watches them all, heart warm in a way it hasn’t been for a while. Gets even warmer when Sehun and Jongin finally wake up, and drop their bath things when they see Minseok sitting with everyone, and Jongin starts crying, saying he wanted to be the first to visit him in the camp.

Minseok looks at him, as if he knows what Chanyeol is thinking, and he smiles, holding his thigh and squeezing. 

Chanyeol smiles in turn, and feels more at home, more centered than he has in a while. Comfortable, so much so that he leans forward, lifts Minseok’s chin with his fingers, and kisses him sweetly, smiles already on both of their faces.

“Ah, years later and my space is still being disrespected,” Baekhyun sighs, bemoaning his fate to anyone who will listen, which is almost no one. Kyungsoo shoves a spoonful of porridge into his mouth calmly, tells him, “Years later and you’re still too noisy when you eat.”

“How long do you have with us?” Jongin asks him, and. Chanyeol hasn’t even thought about how much time they have together. The minutes are precious. 

“I have all of today, and most of tomorrow,” he says, and. It’s not much time, when Chanyeol thinks about it. 

“So, that’s to say, we have all of today until around maybe, let’s say, 2 in the morning with you,” Sehun says coolly, “then what’s left of the night and tomorrow with Chanyeol.”

Minseok’s eyes widen, and he says, “I, no, it’s-“

“It’s okay, hyung, we know you need the booty, too,” Baekhyun says, much too casually, around a mouthful of porridge and egg. 

Minseok blushes profusely, and Chanyeol would too, but Baekhyun isn’t wrong; he’s speaking for himself, but at least for him, he  _ needs _ the dick. 

But. He thinks about the short time he has away from training, and he asks Minseok, “Will you not be seeing your family? What about Tan?”

“Ah, I already talked to them about it,” Minseok tells him. “I promised them I’d visit them next time, when the break will be longer.”

“But, you should see them,” Chanyeol says, and Minseok smiles at him gently. 

“And I will, sooner than they think. But now, I wanted to come home to you.”

“Gross,” Sehun says, and they remember that they’re not alone. “But, seeing as we only have the day, what do you like more, beef or pork?” 

“Um, it doesn’t matter,” Minseok says. 

“Beef it is,” Sehun says, standing from the table, “and lots of soju. Plenty. Boxes of it. Let’s all be ready to go in an hour-“

“30 minutes,” Junmyeon says. 

“-In 45 minutes,” Sehun says, conceding a little.

“But,” Chanyeol tries, but everyone is standing up, and they haven’t had meat in a while, too busy preparing for the concerts and tour and everyone too busy with individual commitments. Chanyeol understands, and he’d like it too, but. It’s Minseok’s day off, and they should do what he wants. 

But. Minseok holds his hand, and links their fingers together. His eyes are happy, tender, and he tells him quietly, “It’s alright. It will be fun. As long as we’re together.”

Chanyeol looks at him, and Minseok smiles still. Kisses him, says, “I’ve had my shower, but if you want me to go in with you, I-“

Not another word is said, Chanyeol scrambling up and taking Minseok’s hand, rushing to get into the bathroom first with him. 

Minseok’s laugh is beautiful, light and everything Chanyeol feels and hopes to have, all the time. 

.

They end up leaving after almost two hours, and maybe it’s kind of their fault, for staying in the shower for too long, but Chanyeol wouldn’t have let Minseok go without at least  _ one  _ blowjob, and Minseok so  _ generously  _ returned the favor, his mouth hot and tongue divine on Chanyeol’s cock. Chanyeol’s legs were shaking hard after, and Minseok had soaped and washed him off instead. 

“You literally could have waited for tonight to do that,” Jongdae glares at them both as they come out of the bathroom, hands linked and wet all over and Chanyeol starry eyed as hell. 

“The opportunity was  _ right there,  _ like I would waste that,” Chanyeol says, blowing him a kiss, and Jongdae snorts, waving it off and going in to get ready himself. 

It’s strips of freshly grilled beef  _ and  _ pork for lunch, because Sehun insists on wanting greasy food and Minseok doesn’t seem to mind,  _ “Not many opportunities for this much meat in there,”  _ he’d said, and Chanyeol is willing to go wherever he wants to go. 

They sit next to each other the whole time, eating and watching as everyone gets rowdy and noisy, Chanyeol joining in after a bottle’s worth of soju gets into his system, and Minseok keeps his eyes on him, fond and quiet. 

They eat, and they drink more and more, until there’s not much space for anything else on their long table, surface area mostly occupied by empty green bottles. 

“Chanyeol cried  _ so much,  _ Minnie,” Jongdae divulges, the traitor. 

“I did  _ not,”  _ Chanyeol pouts. He totally did.

“Never leave him again, he’s heartbreaking to watch,” he says, and Minseok looks at him, eyes sad. 

“I. I don’t have much control over that, at least for the next year and a half,” he says, looking  _ so sad  _ and no, he’s not allowed to look like that, he’s on break, he shouldn’t be sad. And Chanyeol isn’t sad; he’s so super fucking  _ happy,  _ so happy that Minseok is here and spending time with them and being so pretty and calming, watching them all. 

“No, I  _ didn’t cry,”  _ he huffs, and for good measure, he climbs over Minseok’s lap, and sits right on top of him. “No, no, nonononono-”

“I got more grape soju-”

“Gimme, gimme,” Chanyeol says, making grabby hands for the drinks in Junmyeon’s hands, and he twists the cap off, drinks straight from the bottle, and offers it to Minseok right after.

“Yeollie,” Minseok sighs, fond and exasperated, but Chanyeol just pushes him to take the bottle again. He sighs again, but takes a graceful swig straight from the mouth, and he licks his lips. Chanyeol is severely tempted to lean down, kiss him, right in the middle of the nice restaurant with the nice staff who are nice enough to bring in more soju, even though they should really stop, soon.

He refrains, and settles for nuzzling into Minseok’s neck and curling up around him, and they decide, quietly together, that they’ve both had enough to drink for the day. It’s enough to be together with the others, and each other. 

Without saying anything, Minseok somehow manages to calm him, anchor him back down and steady him, and Chanyeol is thankful, in love. 

They spend hours in there, and by the time they get out, it’s late enough that the sky is pink blending into blue, and Jongdae and Baekhyun are yelling, _ “Arcade!” _

“You alright with that, hyung?” Jongin asks him, curling his hand around the arm Chanyeol isn’t wrapped around, cuddling up to him.

“Hmm, well, I did rank first in shooting,” Minseok says, considering. “Maybe we should test it out.”

“But we’re all, um, drunk. Only the two of you are kind of sober,” Junmyeon says, hanging off of Sehun. Even Kyungsoo is red, hiccupping cutely, leaning against Jongdae.

“Oh? Is that an excuse I hear?” Chanyeol says, challenging, and Baekhyun, little, clingy, competitive shit that he is when he’s super drunk, gets all up in his face, eyes narrowed. 

“I bet you that all of us,” he addresses himself, and the other five drunk fools, “can outscore both of you.”

“What are we betting?”

“Nothing, I’m on a soldier’s salary, we shouldn’t be doing things thoughtlessly like this,” Minseok says, sighing, but Baekhyun ignores them totally. 

“Unlimited beef for dinner, the fancy kind, with the gold leaf,” Baekhyun says, and Minseok is sighing again, because that shit is super expensive and he wouldn’t even eat that when he was making tons of tour money, and Junmyeon looks slightly more awake at the thought of losing money, opening his mouth to refute, but Chanyeol beats him to it. 

“Okay,” Chanyeol says, and they shake on it, and Baekhyun is gleefully insufferable in front of them, already claiming victory.

Of course the six of them lose, by an embarrassing margin. Jongdae, Sehun and Junmyeon manage to sober up more and shoot well, making up for the deficiency the others, too drunk and unable to see straight, make. 

But, none of them ever had a chance, with Minseok, who was already like a god with this type of thing prior to enlisting, improving even more. Chanyeol didn’t even need to stand up from where he’d been watching things go down; Minseok had shot an almost perfect score, only missing one via deliberate cheating care of Baekhyun hitting the table with his hips and moving the target off. 

“Thank you for dinner, Baekhyunnie,” Minseok says hours later, when they’re all seated in a fancy private booth in a fancy, really too fancy, exclusive restaurant. 

Baekhyun waves him off, most of the alcohol gone from his system, and he says, almost convincingly, “Don’t mention it, hyung. I really was planning to pay for dinner for you, anyway. Because that’s what a good younger brother does, and because I love you-“

“Stop lying, take a seat,” Kyungsoo says, pulling him down and reaching for the menu himself, highly interested in the meats. 

They switch out soju for expensive, really too expensive champagne, and they don’t get as drunk, but the bottles begin to pile up regardless, taking up space on the table. They get a ridiculous amount of meat and the fancy side dishes never stop coming, but Chanyeol notices that while Minseok eats well, he is careful with the meat, never getting too much for himself. 

“You can eat more, Minnie,” he says, putting a little more on Minseok’s plate. 

He smiles, tells him, “It's okay, baby. Thank you, but it’s alright.”

“Baek is paying for it, you don’t need to worry about how much you eat,” he says. 

“I don’t want to burden him too much. It’s very expensive,” he says, and. Chanyeol holds his hand under the table, not knowing what to say. 

“You’re having fun, right?” he asks him. “You’re having a good time?”

Minseok smiles at him, so soft, says, “Very much. I like being here, with everyone. I missed things like this. You don’t need to worry.”

Chanyeol can’t risk kissing him here, so they lean against each other, together. 

No one gets too drunk, after Junmyeon puts his foot down and stops the champagne on the fifth bottle, and the nice meat is soaking up most of the alcohol anyway. They talk together, comfortable and happy, all eight of them (they squeeze in a call with Yixing after he comes out of rehearsals for his concerts, and Minseok’s grin had been blindingly bright when they greeted each other happily), and by the time they’re ready to call it a night, they’re all sober, and it’s well past midnight. 

When they get out of the restaurant, the sky is dark, and there are two cars, a van and Chanyeol’s own, Seunghwan and Youngmin standing by for them. 

“I called Youngmin so he could drive the two of you up to Minseok’s place. I know you’d probably prefer to drive, and you’ve sobered up hours ago, but just to be safe,” Junmyeon explains, and Minseok and Chanyeol look at him. “For the. Umm.”

“For the booty,” Sehun says casually. Chanyeol and Minseok look away from Youngmin, from everyone, already blushing. Not that it was exactly part of their plan, but if Chanyeol were being honest, a few blowjobs in the shower feel short of what he wants from Minseok tonight. “Hmm, my estimate seems to be off by around an hour,” Sehun says, showing them his phone, the time illuminated on the screen, reading  _ ‘2:48,’  _ and he shrugs. “Ah. But you can’t rush memory-making.”

“Can you even remember anything, Hunnie?” Jongin asks, but he’s waved off, and Sehun is coming forward first to pull Minseok into a tight hug. 

“It was good seeing you, Minseok,” he says, sincerely, seriously. He says it quietly, a little sadly. Minseok pauses, before embracing him in turn. 

“I’ll see you again soon, Hunnie,” he tells him. 

Everyone gets their hugs in, and Baekhyun and Jongin cling on a little longer on their respective turns, both silent, but Minseok just embraces them, murmurs something just for them to hear, and when they let go, Baekhyun’s eyes were filmed over with tears, and Jongin was smile-crying. 

He takes Chanyeol’s hand in his, smiles and he waves to them. Says to Kyungsoo, “See you in there, soon.”

“When our paths cross, hyung,” Kyungsoo smiles, and they get into their car, and Chanyeol and Minseok go inside theirs. 

Youngmin drives off in the direction of Minseok’s apartment, silent mostly, before saying, “Do you need anything? Like. Ah. You know-?”

Chanyeol’s ears turn red, and he’s spluttering, “No, um. No, we’re good. We’re, um-“

“We’re both safe,” Minseok says, smiling calmly, bough his cheeks are pink and he’s embarrassed. “There’s no need.”

“Alright, that’s good,” Youngmin says, nodding. “You don’t need me for anything, then? Because Seunghwan’s been scarred for life before, and-“

“He really should have knocked, that time, but we’re okay,” Minseok says. 

“Alright. I’ll just park it in the basement for you to drive tomorrow, then,” he says, sounding too casual, before going silent again, and Minseok chuckles as Chanyeol whimpers, hiding his face in his neck. 

They get to Minseok’s building in good time, and Youngmin drops them off at the lobby after giving Minseok a goodbye, and Chanyeol doesn’t know what to do, how to act. 

Minseok leads them, as he does, over to the elevator, and it’s quiet, quiet, and a heat is skimming Chanyeol’s skin. He feels it, radiating from Minseok as well, and it’s late, but he knows their night is still young. They have  _ much  _ to do. 

And then, they’re wasting no time as they get into Minseok’s place closing the door behind them and Minseok immediately pushing Chanyeol against the black corrugated walls, pulling his face down and kissing him, tongue and teeth and Chanyeol whines, knees buckling slightly. 

“Hello, baby,” Minseok smiles at him, feline like, leaning back and making Chanyeol chase after his mouth. “Finally have you alone.”

“Finally,” Chanyeol echoes, pressing his lips against Minseok’s and diving his tongue straight into his mouth, licking against him and tasting him, so familiar, wonderful. Minseok is sinful, so sturdy and steady and strong against him, his height deceiving as he guides, partly lifting Chanyeol really, them both down the small hallway to the living room. 

“I must confess,” Minseok says as he removes his jacket, then Chanyeol’s, in haste, “I was very seriously considering having all of this first break spent here, fucking you  _ everywhere,  _ until we both couldn’t breathe and you could no longer stand. I barely refrained.”

“I, oh god, I wouldn’t have said no,” Chanyeol moans as Minseok lifts his sweater, just enough so his nipple is revealed, and he bites on it, sucks it, teasing the other one between his fingers. “You should have,  _ fuck.” _

“You have a concert soon, you need to be in the best shape you can be in,” Minseok says casually, stripping Chanyeol of his sweater completely, then his belt, and pants. Chanyeol strips Minseok in kind, of his shirt, and his pants, and they’re making a trail of clothes on their way to the bedroom, lips constantly on each other, tongues on each other’s skin, and  _ fuck.  _

He’s seen it earlier on, in the shower, but again, here, now. Minseok’s grown to be so  _ muscled,  _ bigger, built and defined. His shoulders seem broader, and his arms and thighs, thick, all from a little more than one month alone. 

Chanyeol’s mouth waters, and Minseok smirks at him, so sinfully beautiful, and then they’re both naked. Minseok’s cock is thick, and Chanyeol gets on his knees, licking the tip, getting his lips around the head. 

“Oh, what a pretty mouth,” Minseok says, cupping Chanyeol’s face, and then moving his hands up. Tangles his fingers in his hair, and  _ pulls.  _

Chanyeol whines, taking more of Minseok into his mouth, his cock hot and heavy on his tongue, and he gets his hand on Minseok’s ass, guiding him along to push into him more. 

Minseok understands, and thrusts into his mouth gently, then again, over and over, and all Chanyeol feels is bliss, sucking his cock, being good for him. 

Then, suddenly, Minseok makes him stand, moves them inside the room, and pushes him against the curtains. Chanyeol whimpers, his hands pressed flat on the glass, and it’s relatively dark in the room, the only light coming from the lamp and the humidifier beneath the television screen, but he feels hot all over, his own length filling up at the thought of being so nearly exposed, the window and the curtains separating them from the outside. 

“I’m gonna get you ready, Yeollie,” Minseok murmurs, and there’s a slicked up finger circling Chanyeol’s rim, and he gasps, not even realizing Minseok had somehow procured lube and had the time to warm it up thoughtfully for his ass. 

“Been, been so long,” he groans, and he feels it especially when Minseok slowly pushes in his finger into his ass, and it’s tight. He breathes slowly, head hanging down and chin on his chest, and Minseok pauses behind him. 

“Does it hurt, baby?” he asks, kissing his shoulder. 

Chanyeol shakes his head, says, “No. just, I haven’t. Just give me a bit.” 

And Minseok waits with a saintly patience, and they wait together in the low light of his room. Eventually, Chanyeol feels ready, and he clenches around the finger inside him, and they both moan. 

“More, more please,” he says, and Minseok kisses his nape, acquiescing with two fingers pushing into his hole, wonderfully thick, knowing his body so intimately and knowing the best ways to make him sin. 

“Prettiest boy,” Minseok says, making Chanyeol’s chest shudder, his cock smear against the curtains. He’ll make sure to bring it out for laundry, but Minseok is fucking him with three fingers, and he loses any words or thoughts. “Most beautiful angel, opening up for me.”

“Yes, for you. Only for you,  _ fuck,”  _ Chanyeol moans, spreading his legs and raising his ass so Minseok can have at him. “Dream about this a lot, too.”

“Hmm, how so?” Minseok asks conversationally, just as he angles his fingers and Chanyeol is moaning against the curtains, pushing his ass back against his hand. 

“I. I dream about you, coming home, just to bend me over the nearest surface, and fucking me,” he says, moaning again, fingers curling around the curtains into his fists. “Just. Your cock, ramming into me. Making me feel you for  _ days.  _ And then I wake up and you’re not there and I’m just always so  _ hard.” _

“I’m here now, baby,” Minseok says, voice so soft and silky, and he keeps fucking him with his fingers, his hole greedy for more but taking what is given to him, his ass ready for his cock. 

“Please. I need you,” he says, meaning it in a lot of ways, but for now, very much sexually. Needs his ass filled and pounded into, and Minseok lowers his head as he pulls his fingers out, lips pressing small kisses up his spine as fingers squeeze his ass cheek, massaging the flesh. Chanyeol trembles, hole winking around nothing, and he’s desperate and horny and so in love. 

Minseok turns him around, and backs him to the corner, lifting one of his legs, and preps his cock, hard and beading at the tip as he slicks himself up, and Chanyeol swallows his want, the need to bend down and suck on his cock again. 

“Hmm, so pretty,” Minseok says, lifting his leg higher, exposing his hole and touching his balls, making Chanyeol shake. Then, he’s guiding himself to where Chanyeol is waiting, needing him, open and more than ready. He sinks in, in, in, until he’s balls deep and they’re both exhaling in relief and pleasure, and Minseok’s cock is so hard, so hot inside him. He’s missed him, missed this, so much, missed his cock in his ass, filling him up, making him feel so good, so sexy. 

“Oh,  _ oh, Minseok,”  _ Chanyeol moans, hands reaching out to grab something, anything. One grabs on to the corner of the television, the other on the curtains, pulling hard as he adjusts around Minseok’s hard, gorgeous length. 

“Baby, you’re so tight,” Minseok says, voice a little less controlled, and Chanyeol shakes with it. Wraps his leg over Minseok’s waist, and guides him in deeper. “Oh. You really weren’t lying, it really has been too long.”

“Your cock,  _ fuck,”  _ Chanyeol cries, squeezing as Minseok pulls out slowly, only to plunge right back in, fucking the swear on the tip of his tongue right in, choking his throat. “So, so thick, so hard.  _ Fuck,  _ missed it, missed you-“

“I missed you, too,” Minseok says, and a bit more than one month might not seem too long, for others. But, he and Minseok, ever since they had become a unit, had fallen in love, have never been apart for more than a few weeks at a time. This has been hard, waiting, and the next seventeen months will just get harder. 

But, Minseok is here now, fucking him with a beautiful pace, hard and pounding into his hole, cock thick and right at home inside him, and Chanyeol thinks of nothing else. Leans down, kisses him and shoves his tongue right in, tongues tangling together as he’s fucked. 

“Such a tight ass for me,” Minseok praises, reaching down and taking Chanyeol’s asscheek in his hand, rolling it as he hammers his cock into his hole. “Hmm, you’re leaking-“

“Fuck,  _ fuck,”  _ Chanyeol moans, letting go of the curtains and TV, hands coming to clutch on to Minseok’s shoulders, meaty and hard under his nails, and just touching him makes Chanyeol  _ moan,  _ tone high as he throws his head back and squeezes his ass, makes himself tighter for him.

Minseok lifts him, just slightly, but he does so with so much ease, and Chanyeol is whimpering and sweating as their skin slaps together, Minseok’s cock somehow feeling even thicker, delicious, splitting him in two, making him  _ feel it.  _

“Come on, baby,” Minseok says, coming up to kiss him, his lips so steamy and Chanyeol just melts, losing his head a bit. So, he goes easily, lets Minseok guide his arms around his shoulders, and his thighs held up, so  _ easily.  _ He moans into Minseok’s mouth as he walks them over to the bed, the head of his cock keeping his rim stretched and open as he does so. He’s so sexy, really like Chanyeol’s perfect person, hot as hell and considerate, thoughtful as he sets them down, guiding Chanyeol to sit on his lap, sink down right over his length, making Chanyeol lean against the headboard for stability as he adjusts, sitting up on top of the pillows. 

“Oh,  _ oh,”  _ Chanyeol whimpers, closes his eyes as sits down on Minseok’s cock, and he goes in deeper than before, and he’s fucked well enough that he thinks, if he were to angle himself the right way and set his hand over his stomach, he’d feel Minseok’s length entering him. It makes him moan, his body melting and slumping forward onto Minseok’s, burrowing his face into Minseok’s neck. “Feels good, you feel good. Wreck my ass,  _ fuck.” _

“Feel amazing, Yeollie,” Minseok says, moaning as Chanyeol pumps his hips slightly, and he helps him adjust his legs to splay out on either side of him, and he asks him quietly, “Let me?”

Chanyeol nods, lets him take the reins. And Minseok  _ takes it,  _ fucks into him with such a force Chanyeol’s shout of surprise is ripped out of him, Minseok’s cock driving into him and he  _ feels  _ it, right down to his toes.

He feels  _ amazing, perfect,  _ pounding into Chanyeol with a godlike stamina, his hands hot around Chanyeol’s waist, pulling his body down to meet his cock as he hammers into him, impaling him with his cock. And Chanyeol is gone for it, goes limp with pleasure, eyelids dropping as an endless stream of  _ “uh, uh, uh,”’s  _ fall from his lips, arms barely able to hold on around Minseok’s shoulders as his ass is fucked. 

“Your ass is so sweet, baby,” Minseok tells him, voice tinged with desperation as he keeps fucking him, helping Chanyeol move on his dick, and Minseok’s hand gliding down his chest, down his belly, teasing his hard, bouncing cock with a finger tracing the most prominent vein, and Chanyeol whines, giving up, leaning on the headboard for support as he’s pounded, Minseok making him  _ take it.  _

“Minnie. Minseok, oh  _ fuck,”  _ Chanyeol moans, head thrown back, and Minseok leans forward, takes advantage of his exposed his neck by sucking on his skin, soothing over the skin with his tongue after. Chanyeol stops caring about marks, moving his head and tilting it down so Minseok can kiss him properly, which he does lovingly, all too willingly. 

“Can you ride me, my love?” Minseok asks him, patting his bottom gently. “Or I can lay you down, if that will be better for you?”

Chanyeol shakes his head, kisses him again, stealing all the breath from his lungs, and says, “Want to ride you.”

He somehow, like a sex miracle, regains all his energy. He pushes Minseok down to the bed suddenly, hands entwined and makes him stretch his arms out over his head and keeps it there with one hand, and Minseok looks up at him with such intensity it makes Chanyeol burn, skin like fire as he brings his head down and kisses him, their chests flush as they move their lips, and Chanyeol, quite seriously, has not felt this alive in weeks.

Chanyeol keeps his body low, right over Minseok’s, and his hips ache but he doesn’t change his position as he takes Minseok’s cock, rolling his hips and grinding their bodies together, ass so full and stretched and his own cock finding some friction as he moves against Minseok, their bellies giving him some relief.

“That’s right, Yeollie,” Minseok says, words hot against Chanyeol’s mouth, his hands similarly steaming on Chanyeol’s body as he breaks free from Chanyeol’s weakened grip, touching his skin, his sides, down to the top of his ass, smacking the skin and making him jolt on top of him.

“Oh, oh fuck,” Chanyeol whimpers, grinding back on his dick, going as deep as he can and stilling. His legs ache, his cock aches with the need to come, and he feels so good. Minseok makes him feel so good, even better as he brings his hands down again, slapping his ass, making him clench harder around him. 

“Beautiful, beautiful baby,” Minseok says, kissing his jaw. He’ll be the death of Chanyeol, and it’s a good way to go. His cock is so hot, so hard, and he feels  _ so good.  _ “Love your ass, love you.”

“Love you too,” Chanyeol murmurs, can barely speak as he moves his ass back, shaking as stays still, keeps himself stretched out on Minseok’s length. “Love your cock, too.”

Minseok chuckles, helps him sit up, tells him gently, “Get your hands on my thighs, baby.”

Chanyeol follows as he’s told, and Minseok thrusts up, and the effect is immediate; Chanyeol’s mind goes blank, filled with nothing except the pure  _ pleasure  _ from the perfect angle, his perfect cock so thick and deep inside him, and his reaction is raw, a shout that tears his throat apart. 

“Like that, baby?” Minseok asks, voice rough, so hot as he does it again, even harder, and Chanyeol almost flies off his cock from the force of it, his ass so full and his cock so hard, leaking at the tip.

_ “Love it,”  _ he says, it’s all he can say, so in love with him, fucked so well. 

Minseok sits back up, and Chanyeol reaches for him immediately, searching for his lips. Minseok gives it to him easily, lips parting at the barest swipe of Chanyeol’s tongue on his bottom lip. He loves him so wholly, so intensely, would not give up anything they have between them for the world. 

“I’m, I’m close,” Chanyeol whimpers against his lips, body shaking and cock aching, and Minseok understands, kisses him again when he sniffs, comforting him. “Want to come, please. Let’s come, together, want it. Come in me.”

“Alright, love,” Minseok says, kissing him again. “Tell me how you want it, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol whimpers again, head so full. He doesn’t care how, he knows it will be good, it will be special no matter what. It’s sexy, steaming and borderline filthy, and also soft, painfully intimate, and it’s all good, all making his toes curl and cock hard. But, Minseok’s gaze is so dark, making his chest just hot, his cock jump, and he says, “With everything you’ve got.”

And Minseok’s smirk is telling. When he flips them over, Chanyeol’s back hitting the mattress, and he rams back in his ass so hard it makes Chanyeol scream, Chanyeol knows he’s in for it. 

Minseok fucks him, cock spearing him open and his pace so hard, making him so loose and he growls words so sickly sweet and obscene, about how sweet and delicious his ass is, how well he takes his length, how  _ beautiful  _ Chanyeol looks, blissed out under him and fucked right open. 

Chanyeol can barely speak, barely breathe. Loops his arms beneath Minseok’s own and around him, clutching his shoulders as he hammers in, their skin slapping and the sound nothing less than obscene. Minseok is so sinfully talented with his hips, his cock, and Chanyeol is truly very lucky, and he knows it, that he is the foremost witness and can testify to his talent for making him breathless, speechless. 

“That’s right,  _ take it,” _ Minseok says, fucking so hard that Chanyeol’s body is pushed further down the bed from the sheer force of it. His head hangs over the edge of the mattress, and Chanyeol finds himself staring upside down at the air humidifier, visually so perplexing. Looks like a fire, but really just a visual trick of lights and a humidifier working its magic. Disconcerting, throws you off, like the way Minseok is small, maybe the smallest member in their group, but he’s among their strongest, physically, emotionally. How he can look so innocent, adorable, but is powerful, charismatic with a sexual strength that makes Chanyeol weak and never fails to get him spreading his legs for him.

Chanyeol can’t stop moaning, his cock so painfully hard rubbing between their bellies, his ass stretched so wide and fucked so well. He whimpers, whines, “I’m. Oh  _ god, fucking shit,  _ I’m going to come-“

Minseok goes even faster, pace doubled and hips like magic as he drives into him, cock fucking into his body. “Come, baby, like you know you need to. On my cock-“

Chanyeol stands no chance. He cries, the heat in his belly snapping, and he sobs as he comes,  _ hard,  _ white spilling all over their bellies. He comes so hard, some of the pearl liquid spots over his chin, his neck, and he can’t stop moaning, coming, legs shaking as he clenches uncontrollably around Minseok’s cock, and he’s utterly  _ wrecked. _ He throws his head back, and his vision blurs, the soft orange lights and wisps of vapor of the humidifier becoming a glow, barely discernible as he comes. 

“Gorgeous, gorgeous, my baby,” Minseok praises, kissing and sucking Chanyeol’s bottom lip into his mouth, fucking him harder, knowing he can take it. Chanyeol is so sensitive, can barely take it, and it feels so  _ good,  _ his whole body still trembling as he comes down, and Minseok fucking him still. 

“Fill me up,” he whispers, and Minseok’s eyes go black, and he takes Chanyeol’s hips in a grip so tight he’s sure it will bruise, and he spears him right open, ramming and hammering and making sure he won’t forget any of it, bringing Chanyeol’s sensitive body to his driving cock, never faltering. And then, he comes. His hips snap into Chanyeol’s, pace thrown off as he shoots his come deep inside, painting his insides with white, with him, so full he spills over. 

“Oh,  _ fuck,”  _ Chanyeol breathes, trembles as Minseok hovers over him, cock stilling inside as he struggles not to fall on top of him. 

“Baby,” Minseok says fondly, kissing him, making Chanyeol chase after his lips as he draws back, settles on his side next to him after he pulls his cock out. Chanyeol feels it immediately, the come inside him, sexy for all of a few minutes as it coats the inside of his ass and leaks slowly out in small trails. Then, it feels kind of strange, and he makes a face, but he ends up gasping when Minseok shoves a few of his fingers back in, twisting around and drawing out his come.

“God,  _ fucking-” _

Minseok cuts off his words when he bends, takes Chanyeol’s nipple in his mouth and traces it with the very tip of his tongue, insufferable tease, sex fairy. His fingers stop, and Chanyeol whines as he moves away to grab a tissue, but he’s thankful for the clean-up and the wind down, finally feeling the ache and exhaustion from all the fucking settle in his muscles, his ass.

Minseok throws the tissues, comes back to lie down next to him, eyes bright and smile smug but quiet, and Chanyeol just loves him,  _ so much,  _ it’s insane. He snuggles up to him, curling right around him, pinning him down as Minseok tries to get them under the covers, despite the fact that they’re upside down on the bed, feet on the pillows propped up on the headboard, their heads almost hanging over the end. 

“Baby, we need to get under-”

“No, we don’t,” Chanyeol hums, perfectly content to starfish over him and warm each other up with their body heat. He smiles at Minseok, whose lips quirk up slightly, amused and surely so in love with him, and Chanyeol curls up closer, and licks his cheek.

Minseok laughs, but doesn’t stop or question him, as he gets his mouth over the adorable, gorgeous roundness of Minseok’s cheeks, so plump and full, maybe as full as it was when they had just debuted and Minseok’s cheeks were a national treasure, criminally ignored. They’re tired, so tired beyond words, but Chanyeol smiles as he bites, so, so gently on his soft, super soft cheeks, filled so beautifully after the weeks of eating well and training away from him, the skin so yielding and tender under his lips and teeth.

Minseok smiles, and makes his cheeks even puffier for him, knowing him well. Chanyeol grins, and he pulls with his teeth, then soothes over the bite with his tongue immediately after, and a little gentle kiss, and giving his other cheek similar treatment. 

By the end of it, minutes later, Minseok’s cheeks are a little wet from his spit, and Chanyeol’s lips are gently numb, and it’s all so completely worth it. 

“Yummy?” Minseok asks him. Chanyeol grins.

“All of you is,” he replies, cuddling up closer, “everything. You’re so much bigger, now. Strong, and your arms and shoulders are big, and your muscles are so nice and your  _ cheeks.  _ I love it. I love you.”

“I love you, Yeollie,” he says, expression so soft, all for Chanyeol. They’re both so lucky. 

Minseok manages to get them under the duvet and blanket, but they’re still upside down, but they don’t move to get right side up, because as soon as he’s under the pillow like covers, curled up in Minseok’s arms, he’s out like a light, in a rare night where he doesn’t struggle to get to sleep, with the love of his life next to him.

.

When they wake, it’s still early. At least, early for Chanyeol. 

Even before Minseok had enlisted, he was one to wake up early, and he the one to wake everyone up. 

When Chanyeol wakes, blinking his eyes open slowly and taking in the warm light, Minseok is already awake, quiet, just looking at him softly. 

“What?” he says, a little slurred. They’re still lying the wrong way, heads nearer to the television than the headboard, but there’s a pillow, thoughtfully placed under his head. 

Minseok smiles, so handsome, so lovely. Says gently, “I haven’t been able to say ‘Good morning’ to you in awhile. So. Good morning, baby.”

Chanyeol’s insides go super gooey, and he blushes, but hides his face under the blankets, but he knows Minseok can tell he’s flustered despite his sleepiness. 

“Good morning,” he says. Minseok lifts his chin slightly, kisses him. “It’s so early. Can we just cuddle?”

“We can do whatever we want,” Minseok says. Chanyeol’s head fills in,  _ ‘Until you have to go back later today and it will be months before I get to see you again.’ _

He won’t let himself ruin the mood, so he huddles into Minseok’s warmth, and they lie together, many moments quiet, tender, and other moments in soft, sleepy conversation, about little things, light things. 

Then, Minseok starts kissing him, and this is Chanyeol's favorite; after the nights where they’re nothing less than shameless, the mornings that follow are always  _ so soft.  _ Especially on days where there’s nothing immediate to be done and schedules start later, Minseok would bathe him with his lips, kisses soft and everywhere, for as much time as they had, until there was no part of Chanyeol’s body he had not covered. And he would do it again, lips trailing every part of his skin, and Chanyeol, so at peace, would often slip back to sleep, letting Minseok spoil him with his pretty mouth, feeling very at home. 

Today, though, Chanyeol keeps himself awake, though his eyelids fight heavily against his will. He stays awake, watching Minseok pressing his lips down his chest, over his belly. Licking lightly on his neck, his shoulders, and his arms. His pink lips tracing over the ink on Chanyeol’s arms, over the moons and the monkey, over his fan stamp, the arrow, and lingering over their number. The lines Minseok had drawn himself, for them, not knowing then that it would lead them to where they are now. Still making music, still making each other happy. Loving each other like this. 

It’s really warm, gentle, and Chanyeol feels soft and melted inside as Minseok gives his body a little worship, but. Minseok moving on top of him, and his gorgeous mouth all over his skin makes his blood sing, and it’s usually really soft. But, he’s been repressed for over a month. 

He tries to calm himself, not be so insufferable and horny, staying still and taking in Minseok’s kisses as purely as his mind can take it, but Minseok notices. 

He smiles, kissing the spot just above Chanyeol’s bellybutton, and rests his cheek on Chanyeol’s stomach, says, “I’m sorry. Too much?”

“No, no,” Chanyeol shakes his head, looks down to where Minseok waits patiently, where he just so happens to be laying right over his already morning stiff dick, getting even harder with his press of his lips. “Just. Your mouth is really nice. And it feels good.”

“Didn’t used to be much a problem before,” Minseok notes. 

“Yeah, but I told you, I’ve been pretty much celibate since you’ve gone,” Chanyeol huffs a little petulantly.

“Ah,” Minseok says, quiet, lifting his head from his belly and not meeting his eyes, guilt lining his shoulders. 

Chanyeol looks at him, and he feels bad. It’s not Minseok’s fault, and Chanyeol knows it’s something he can’t control. “No, it’s. I’m sorry, Minnie-“

“I understand. I know you didn’t mean anything by it, baby,” Minseok says, assuring him with a small smile. He still looks sad though, but he lies back down, in the least, resting his chin in his fingers over his stomach. He’s quiet, tracing the muscles Chanyeol’s worked hard to get over the years, and Chanyeol feels doubly awful. For making him feel bad, for shifting the mood so thoughtlessly. 

He reaches down, brushing his palms over Minseok’s buzzed hair, a silent apology. Minseok kisses his hip, understanding. So, so patient, much more than Chanyeol feels like he deserves. 

After a silence, Minseok says quietly, “it would be okay with me, you know.” 

“What?” he says, a little puzzled. 

Minseok looks at him, says calmly, but with what looks like a lot of difficulty, “if it gets hard, I understand if you’d want to have some. Some release.”

Chanyeol blinks, confused, and then he understands what he means, and. He doesn’t know what to feel. 

They’ve always been quite open, like that. They were more than enough for each other, that what they had was so unique and theirs and Chanyeol had never wanted anyone else. But, they understood that sometimes, attraction couldn’t be helped. 

And they understood each other well in that way. It lead to the bathtub debacle, which lead to them to long talks to understand how to move forward and really grow and be stronger in the love, together. 

So, he understands why Minseok would bring this up. And, he’s even a little grateful, that he’s sure enough in his love, their love, to even offer Chanyeol a choice. But. 

“Are you saying I should hook up with other people when I’m particularly lonely?” he says, smiling a little. 

Minseok blinks, and says slowly, “Um. Is that not-“

He makes Minseok sit up, and he smiles, leans forward to kiss him. Minseok melts under him, and Chanyeol pulls him in even closer. 

“Thank you, baby,” Chanyeol says, angling Minseok’s face with his hands, tilting his head up gently so he can leave an even more tender kiss on his mouth, pulling him in until he’s more or less cradled in Chanyeol’s lap. “I really appreciate it. But, I won’t need to do that. No one else is you. I don’t want anyone else, I’ll wait.”

Minseok’s eyes are shining, so Chanyeol tries lifting his mood, leans their foreheads together and says, “There isn’t anyone as pretty as you, anyway.”

Minseok smiles, climbs properly on top of him, and lets himself be embraced as he tells him, “You mean my dick is pretty.”

“Among other things, yes,” Chanyeol says, looking up as Minseok tilts his head, so their noses touch. He breathes, quiet all around them again, and. He tells him gently, “The invitation extends to you too, you know. I mean, I’m sure one of your co-soldiers is pretty, too. Maybe not as pretty as me, but-“

Minseok cups his face again, and shakes his head. He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t need to. Just by the look on his face, Chanyeol knows what he’s thinking, what he feels. 

_ I just need you. You’re more than enough.  _

So Chanyeol surges up, kisses him, deeply, giving all the love to the small mole on the top of his lip again, and Minseok’s hands grip his shoulders, unfaltering. He reaches back, hands on Minseok’s back, so nicely built beneath his fingers as his nails bite into his muscle, and it’s crazy, how much he loves him. 

He looks at the time, and decides fairly quickly, upon seeing the hour is still relatively early, that he wants to have sex again. 

“Please, one more time,” he says, hands moving down to Minseok’s ass, and he  _ squeezes,  _ making him laugh, and squirm slightly on top of him. His dick in very much interested again, and Chanyeol swallows his want. 

“Ah, well. I have missed your cock, too,” he says easily, grinning, and it’s all very quick from there. 

They’re finally on the right side of the bed, Chanyeol spoiling Minseok with so many pillows, and making sure there’s one under his hips too, and it takes some time to open Minseok up for him. Chanyeol’s not very small, and Minseok’s gone even longer than he has, with something in his ass. 

“Sorry, ah, sorry, baby,” Chanyeol murmurs when Minseok’s face pinches when he pushes in a third finger into him. “Sorry.”

“I’m alright,” he says, breathing slowly, holding on to Chanyeol as he’s fingered open. “I’m okay.”

“Does it feel good, yet?” Chanyeol asks him, careful as he stretches him,

“It’s never not been good,” Minseok says, “I can take a bit of stretch, I like it. Keep going.”

Chanyeol stills, but when Minseok’s legs around his waist urge him on, he acquiesces, and gives him a fourth finger after lubing his fingers up some more.

“Oh,  _ oh, right there,”  _ Minseok moans, nails biting down on Chanyeol’s hips as his fingers are crammed into his hole. 

Chanyeol gulps, watching as Minseok starts pumping his hips, moving around his fingers and panting, and his mouth has always been a point of fascination. Either so adorable, pink and cute and gummy when he smiles, honest in expression and endearing int e way Minseok sparingly closes his mouth. On the other hand, it’s so enticing, sexy as he pants or gasps, moans, so small but luscious and especially when wrapped around Chanyeol’s cock. A wonderful sight.

Minseok signals him that he’s ready for his cock when he pulls him down by his hair, plants a hot kiss on his mouth, licking and teethy, and Chanyeol chokes on his desire, pulling his fingers out and coating his length in haste. 

“Oh,  _ fuck,”  _ Minseok moans as Chanyeol holds his waist in one hand, and the other, guiding his hard, red cock into Minseok’s hole, open and waiting for him. It’s tight, despite the four fingers, and Minseok’s whole body shakes as he sinks in, pushing and pushing, never stopping on Minseok’s urging until all of him is inside him, and his balls are pressed right up against Minseok’s ass. And Chanyeol’s world shatters in the best way, Minseok’s ass like  _ heaven  _ around him, tight, clenching around him like sin, and his face, so open and feeling pure pleasure, moaning, already far gone. 

As much as he loves Minseok’s cock, inside him, in his ass or in his mouth, as much as he prefers being on the receiving end and spoiled with cock, fucking Minseok is such an experience. His small body, powerful, wonderfully sturdy and taking his frankly big cock as easily as he does is nothing short of sinful, and his reactions. His moans, when Chanyeol pulls out and  _ fucks  _ back into him, turning to low sobs that increase in pitch as they go, his ass tightening around him as he pulls out, reluctant to let him leave, and his eyes, dark and a little wild, his hands touching everywhere he can reach. 

“Fuck,” Chanyeol moans as he fucks him, Minseok’s ass tight but taking him so well. He plunges in, looking down to where his cock slams into Minseok, his hole stretched so open and the rim so pink as he spreads his legs, letting him in. 

Chanyeol fucks him, harder and harder, ramming into him as their skin slaps together and the skin of his hips feels slightly sensitive, as he maintains their pace. 

“Fuck,  _ fuck, baby,”  _ Minseok whines, and he tries to move his hips, help them along, but when Chanyeol pounds in and angles just right, Minseok gasps,  _ moans,  _ and lets Chanyeol  _ take him.  _ “Your cock, so big, cramming me full-“

“That’s  _ right,”  _ Chanyeol breathes, taking Minseok’s hands in his and stretching them over his head, and he fucks him, “Oh, baby. Your  _ ass,  _ so tight, just taking it.”

“Love you,” Minseok breathes, and Chanyeol murmurs it right back, kissing him and thoroughly mouthing each other for many moments, tongues pushing into mouths and his cock never faltering, sustaining his rough pace. 

Chanyeol’s chest is tight, his cock painfully hard and getting harder inside Minseok’s strong, tight little body, wonderfully sinful. He moans so prettily, takes cock so prettily, and Chanyeol is desperate to get him to come. To get him to squeeze around his length and milk him dry and it’s like he can barely breathe, his mind full of Minseok, only Minseok. 

He doubles his pace, the force of his thrusts despite the ache of his hips, spearing into Minseok and making them both cry out, wanting to come. 

He fucks him, pounds him breathless and chases their orgasm relentlessly. If not for Minseok curling his arms over his shoulders, gentle words against his lips to calm him, anchor him back down to them, and his legs, stilling his body as much as they can, he would have kept going, without thought, almost carnal, with the need to spill and fill him with his come. 

“Hey, hey. Yeollie, baby,” he soothes him, hands utterly tender as he brushes through his hair, white strands touched gently and it’s enough, to get Chanyeol to ease slightly, for his chest to lighten and his hips to pause, still buried deep in Minseok’s warmth, but the incessant need to  _ fuck  _ is ebbing away, leaving a little embarrassment for being so overzealous.

“Sorry, Minnie,” he says, and Minseok doesn’t laugh at him, nor admonish him. 

He tucks his hair lovingly behind his ears, and asks him, “Why are you rushing so much, love?”

Chanyeol blushes, but answers honestly, “You feel so good. It’s been so long, since I’ve fucked you.”

Minseok stays quiet, letting him speak, knowing there’s more to it. 

Chanyeol knows he’s not getting out of it, knows Minseok will just read him like a book and wait, perpetually patient, warming his cock with his ass and no movement. So, he says, “We don’t have much time left, so. I want to do as much as we can, with what we have.”

Minseok looks at him, and. He smiles, so beautiful, so fond and affectionate, and he pulls Chanyeol’s face down to his, and kisses him soundly, their lips touching simply for a long, long while. 

“We have all the time in the world, Chanyeol,” he tells him, calm, like a steady stream, always moving and running but at a gentle pace that does not falter. 

Chanyeol doesn’t know how he does it. How he pulls him down from where his head is stuck in the clouds, so full of problems and thoughts that always circle and keep his brain full, to right down where they are, where they should be: together, their little peace.

So, with Minseok arms around his neck, pulling him down for another tender kiss, and Minseok’s legs crossed over his waist, Chanyeol resumes to thrust into him, but between them, time slows. 

He rolls his hips, smooth, languid as he pumps into him, giving him his cock, and nothing else matters. 

Minseok moans, quiet, just for Chanyeol to hear, takes his cock as he’s fucked like the king he is, and Chanyeol keeps going, not quite slow, but certainly hard, each thrust in felt, heard, remembered. 

It’s scarily intimate, wonderful as they fuck, loving each other with short words that have the weight of the world hanging on to every letter said quietly between them, the air hot with it, but it’s soothing, gentle as they fuck. Chanyeol drives in, pumping his heavy cock into Minseok’s hole, heart singing as they take each other in, letting time pass. 

Time feels endless, as he fucks him, on and on, and the minutes are long and they can barely tell that it’s been long since the minutes have turned to more than almost an hour, slow, unfaltering, perfect fucking that leaves them chasing each other’s mouth and their bodies simmering, then boiling with heat.

Their slow pace can only do so much, before Minseok is whimpering, moaning endlessly, louder and louder and his cock is so hard between them, smearing white on their bellies. Before Chanyeol is increasing the speed steadily, pounding and driving in until the slick, obscene sounds of his cock, entering and pushing into Minseok’s hole again and again is audible, bouncing off the walls. 

“Come with me,” Minseok says, breathy and head thrown back as he’s fucked. “Come on, Yeollie, a little more-“

“Fuck,  _ fuck,”  _ Chanyeol groans, going as hard as he can, fuckign Minseok with everything he has. 

It’s slow, then all at once, when they come. They don’t know who snaps first, but it doesn’t matter, because Minseok is gasping and letting out the most melodious moan from his lips, clawing at Chanyeol’s shoulders as ribbons of white shoot from his cock, so, so pretty. So pretty that it gets Chanyeol moaning, crying out as he fucks him, cock squeezed and clenched by Minseok’s throbbing walls, and he fills his ass with come, a lot of it, too much of it, and Chanyeol’s mouth waters, eyes going dark. 

“Eat me out,” it’s like Minseok is reading his brain, his heart’s desires, and he sounds tired but all too willing and Chanyeol  _ fucking loves him.  _

He pulls out with many apologetic kisses as the come drips, trickles or and paints his skin, and Chanyeol acknowledges wholeheartedly how  _ filthy  _ he is, how much he loves it, watching his release leak out of his boyfriend’s perfect little ass. 

He gets down, takes Minseok’s slightly trembling thighs and spreads them to expose his hole a little more. His rim is pretty and pink, used and sexy and he can’t resist, leaning in and tracing it with his tongue. 

“Baby,” Minseok breathes impatiently, legs shaking even more. “If you’re going to eat my ass, do it properly.”

“You said it,” Chanyeol says, beaming, and as gorgeous as their slow, intimate pace from earlier had been, he forgoes it completely, and unceremoniously shoves his tongue into Minseok’s ass. 

_ “Holy fuck,”  _ Minseok swears, back arching and his hands reach for Chanyeol’s head instantly, fingers curled around his hair and pulling. Usually, in the occasions they do this, Chanyeol is in the other end, and Minseok is more than happy to rim him and essentially make out with his ass, but when he’s on the receiving end, he is the  _ prettiest,  _ so beautiful as his ass is eaten. 

Chanyeol kisses around his hole a bit before digging his tongue in, tasting him and fucking him with his tongue. 

“Hmm, you’re ducking yummy,” Chanyeol says, before diving back in, his tongue making slick noises as he rims him, tasting his own come on his tongue. 

“Your mouth, so filthy,” Minseok says, breath short and legs shaking around Chanyeol, fighting not to cage him in. 

Chanyeol licks him out, mouth and tongue moving until he no longer tastes himself, gets Minseok’s ass wet with his spit. He brings his hand up to where his mouth is, and inserts a finger into his ass along with his tongue. 

“Ah,  _ ah,  _ no, no more, Yeollie, baby, it’s too much,” Minseok says, whining a bit as his body trembles, trying to push him away. 

“Sorry, sorry baby,” Chanyeol says immediately, pulling out and moving up to get on top of him, pressing his lips against the  _ 61  _ on his wrist, then pressing their lips together in apology. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, felt good. It was just too much,” he says, smiling. “My body is very tired.”

“You’re welcome,” Chanyeol says, and Minseok snorts, and even though he’s tired, he still has enough strength to turn them to their sides, and they hold each other, quiet and sated. 

After some time, Minseok breaks their silence, asking, “Hmm, what time is it?”

Chanyeol hums, lifts his head to look at the clock on the nightstand. He says then, “It’s almost 1.”

“Hmm, let’s get lunch delivered. Don’t want to get out of bed,” Minseok says, melting further into Chanyeol’s arms. 

“Ah. But I just ate.”

Minseok hits his chest, gives him a look, and Chanyeol grins, kissing his cheek to appease him for the teasing, and he leans over to get his phone on the side table to call their favorite place for stone pot meat with rice, something he knows Minseok missed, and he tries to unlock it, but. When he presses the power button, his phone signals for him to plug it in, battery depleted. And he remembers, in the haste to fuck, he’d lost the mind to plug it before they had fallen to sleep the night before. 

“Um,” he starts, “my phone-“

“Use my phone, I just need to wash off a little,” he says as he gets up to go to the bathroom. 

“Your usual?” Chanyeol asks before he goes, reaching over for his phone and turning it on, and waiting for the device to recognize his face before it reveals the home screen to him. Baekhyun and Jongdae had been particular pouty when Minseok would only allow Chanyeol to save his face for the facial identification for his phone, saying they should be in there as well as they were also in a unit with him and sometimes he acted like their boyfriend too. Chanyeol had ignored them, flaunts it to their face any opportunity he can. 

“And extra side dishes if you can, baby, thank you,” Minseok says, smiling at him, before he closes the door to the en suite bathroom to clean himself up. 

Chanyeol makes quick work of ordering, and it’s really too much for for just two of them, but it’s a day to spurge a little. “Thank you! See you soon,” he smiles, ending the call, and is about to lock the phone when a notification pops up from one of Minseok’s music-streaming apps. 

He blinks, when he sees the album art for his song, and. On instinct, he taps on it, and is lead to the app. He looks at the playlists Minseok’s made for himself, his most visited artists and albums, his history, and. All Chanyeol can see, is him, every soundtrack song he’d made, his solo mini-albums, his Stations. It’s all him.  _ SSFW  _ alone makes up  _ hours  _ of listening time.

Chanyeol stares, silent, until Minseok returns from the bathroom, wrapped up in a towel. Minseok pauses as he looks at him, says, “Yeollie? What’s the matter? They don’t have the chicken you like again?”

Chanyeol sniffs, and looks up at him. “Sorry. It’s just. It’s all me.”

Minseok looks at him, then down to where his phone is still in Chanyeol’s hands, and he says, simply, “Of course. Your voice, it comforts me. And I told you before. There was no one else for me but you.”

Chanyeol sniffs again, louder, feels his nose dripping a little, and overall he knows he looks a little gross. Minseok comes forward regardless, and cups his face, kissing him quietly. 

_ “‘You’  _ is all I listen to, nowadays,” he confesses to him quietly, still crying like a baby, and Minseok pulls him in, lips pressed gently on the highest point of Chanyeol’s cheek, where the tears are trailing down.

They eat lunch in the bed, Minseok giving in just this once to risking a potential mess, feeding each other and taking in the last hours together before Minseok needs to go back.

And Chanyeol somehow cannot shake the feeling that he wants to say something. To say and admit how he can’t shake off his worries, as much as he tries to remember that Minseok is never giving him reason to worry, is so in love with him, and takes every opportunity to listen to his voice. They are strong, and sure.

And. It’s small thoughts, that have grown and have festered and now, weeks in. He’s barely able to get his head around it, but. Seventeen more months, and he’s worried that Minseok might forget him, the way they are now. Or, that the time apart will bring too much  _ change,  _ and when this is over, when it’s time to come home, things will be too different.

He really, really. Does not want to see him go. 

“Yeollie, try this,” Minseok offers him a bite, and Chanyeol blinks at him, and smiles. Opens his mouth obediently, and takes the offered bite. 

Minseok is smiling, happy, and it’s enough for now, and Chanyeol takes things in quietly, tries not to stew on it too much.

They clean up, shower together, and Chanyeol helps Minseok fix his things before he drives him back, and as much as Chanyeol tries not to let his feelings bubble up to the surface, Minseok being Minseok, he eventually notices. 

“Baby,” Minseok says, standing up from where he’d been packing his things, and waiting until Chanyeol looks up from where he’d been packing some new toiletries for him. “What is it? You can tell me.”

Chanyeol looks at him, and he considers saying nothing. He doesn’t know how to say what he’s truly feeling without sounding desperate, or. Making him worry too much, so, he tries instead, “I’ve been writing some material. It sounds a lot like us, I was wondering. Like, we can record this. What if, maybe, what if we have a comeback?”

Minseok looks at him, and his smile is fond, apologetic, “That sounds great, and you know, I really would want to. But, you know the time I have. We won’t be together properly for the next Maybe, it would be better if we discussed this, when I come back?”

“Yeah, of course,” Chanyeol says, chuckling at himself a little to hide his embarrassment and sadness. “Sorry. It was just a thought.”

Minseok watches him, and Chanyeol feels his eyes on him, so he keeps himself busy. Packs way too many wet tissue packets and towels and other things for him, and doesn’t look at him. 

Minseok breaks the silence, says, “Well. One of the others told me you’ve been writing other songs too, nonstop. Said it had a lot of potential to be a follow-up, to your last solo, said it had a really solid sound and looks like it’s ready to go.”

“‘One of the others?’” 

Minseok tilts his head, smirking, and Chanyeol sighs, cursing under his breath, “Hunnie, that little shit.”

“I don’t want to push you to do something you might not want to do, or something you’re not ready for,” Minseok says, moving over to where he is and enveloping him in his arms, a little comfort, and Chanyeol can’t help it. Whenever Minseok is within proximity, he can’t help but  _ look  _ at him. “But. I really do hope that you just don’t wait around for me, and do what it is you love to do. And I know music is the most precious, to you, so. I hope you make your music, and share it, eventually. When you’re ready. Please consider?”

Chanyeol breathes. Sighs, and crams his big, tall body into Minseok’s, melts into him. “Okay.”

A little later, he’s all packed, and the sun is slowly setting, and Chanyeol drives him back. The car ride is mostly quiet, in the calm, warm way of familiarity and peace, Chanyeol’s hand on Minseok’s thigh next to him, Minseok’s hands curled around his. Minseok’s unit is quite far, and it takes more than an hour of driving to get there, but even then, when they get there, and Chanyeol is parking a ways off so they won’t be seen together, it seems too short, still. 

“Alright,” Minseok says, sounding reluctant but otherwise ready. Don’t go down, I can get my things.” He leans forward, kissing him, gentle as he always is, says, “I love you. I’ll call you soon.”

He undoes his seatbelt, makes to open the door, and Chanyeol. Doesn’t want him to.

“Minnie. Wait,” he says, voice coming out a little weaker than he’d intended, but it’s enough. Minseok turns back to him, and waits for him.

Chanyeol’s chest feels like it’s about to be ripped open, with how nervous he is, and his mind is running, so tired, with so many words that he can’t seem to piece together. He sets his hands down on his lap, from where they’d been shaking on the wheel, and he breathes, tries to get himself in a little more control.

It’s quiet, and Minseok is patient. Sets a gentle hand on his knee, lets him know that he’s there for him, and he doesn’t push.

Chanyeol loves him so much. This is all the more painful for it. 

He doesn’t know how to tell him, how he’s scared. How he doesn’t want to watch him go again, doesn’t want to wait the seventeen months, as petty as it sounds. He wants him, there with him, now.

They had just gotten their shit together, had just a bit over a year together when this interfered. They were supposed to have more time.

“Chanyeol, baby,” Minseok says, voice warm and like honey, “I’ll wait for you, for however long you want, and I don’t want to rush you, but. I don’t have a lot of time. I need to go.”

“That’s just it,” Chanyeol says, really mutters under his breath. “You need to go.”

Minseok blinks at him, eyebrows furrowing a little. “I. I’m sorry, I don’t understand-”

“I know I said I would wait,” he says, rushes out before he loses the little nerve he still has, “and. I’m trying, and I know you’re doing  _ so well  _ and everything and it’s not surprising, that you would adjust well, but. This is hard, it’s  _ so hard  _ it sometimes feels like I can’t breathe.”

Minseok looks at him, hand steady, and he stays quiet as Chanyeol catches his breath, tries to gather his jumbled up thoughts. Doesn’t say anything still when Chanyeol goes on to say, “It’s. It’s hard without you, going day to day and being unable to see you, and I know it’s temporary but I’m always reminded that I’ll only really  _ have you  _ next December and-”

His voice breaks, and the sting in his eyes overwhelms him, the wetness gathering breaking free out of his will to be strong and he cries, cries a lot, pouring down his face and he’s sobbing, uselessly wiping at his face with the cuffs of his jacket sleeves and he feels like he’s shattered, a little more broken.

“I’m trying, really hard, to be patient, because everyone waits for someone in the military and I’m not special in that context, but it’s  _ you,”  _ he says, and his heart aches, and he feels so sad. “It’s you, and it’s hard to be without  _ you.  _ And, and it makes me feel even worse, because I know you use those phone calls and breaks you win  _ on me,  _ and I shouldn’t ask for more when you could and should be seeing your parents instead but. I can’t help it. I’m sorry.”

He cries, hard. Hard enough that his chest aches, his jacket is a little more ruined with his snot and tears, and he hunches over in himself, feeling so, so sad. A little pathetic, for being so weak.

He cries for a long time, and quietly, tenderly, Minseok reaches over, pulls him to his warmth, and holds him, quiet, unfaltering.

It’s a while, and he’s just starting to come down a little more, sobbing less, shaking less, before Minseok says, “You think that those phone calls were for you?”

Chanyeol sniffs, but lifts his head from where he’d buried it in Minseok’s neck. He’s shocked, when he sees Minseok’s eyes are wet, red, and his lips set in the smallest frown. 

“Huh?” he says so eloquently, and Minseok sniffs, brushes his fingers through Chanyeol’s white hair.

“The only reason I have ever done so well in there,” he starts, wiping Chanyeol’s wet face, “Was because of you.”

Chanyeol stares at him, confused, but he stays quiet, waits for Minseok the way Minseok has always waited for him.

“To have that time to hear your voice,” he says quietly, “whether in your music, or. Or that phone call I won, or when I came here, to see you. All of it, it’s such a treasure to me, and it motivates me to do even better, because it’s lonely, in there. I would not have had the strength, had it not been for you, so I work hard. For you.”

Minseok cries quietly, the tears few, but it’s shattering all the same, to see him like this. Chanyeol’s heart  _ hurts,  _ and he hugs him, comforts him, saying, “Minnie, baby.”

“It’s hard for me, too,” he says. His chest shudders slightly, but he takes a deep breath, lets Chanyeol wipe away the wetness, and says in a warm, steady voice, “I miss you, I miss you a lot. But. It won’t be long now. I promise.”

Chanyeol sniffs, feeling a few more tears leak out. “Seventeen months is not a short amount of time.”

“Neither was the nine years since we’d met before we realized that this was something good,” Minseok tells him, and. He’s right, so much time together but they hadn’t realized that things had changed, that they were beautiful together, until the music told them they were. “You told me before. The time, it will be nothing, when we come back to each other. It won’t be long until you have me again.”

Chanyeol cries still, comforted, but still worried. “What if I go now, too?”

“I will support you, through whatever you choose,” Minseok tells him, sure, gentle. “But, you need to do what you want, with everyone, while they’re there. Make your music, be amazing, be you. And I will cheer for you, support you, from wherever I am.”

He cries, “I don’t want to do this without you.”

“Just a little more,” Minseok tries, cupping his face, kissing his cheek.

“Then I’ll be going,” Chanyeol says sadly.

“And I will wait for you then,” Minseok says, hands gentle and words even more so. “With a lot of love and my heart completely yours. I will wait patiently like you are now, for me.” He smiles, and his kiss is more tender than it has ever been before.

Chanyeol, despite Minseok’s soft, warm words, still has his fears, and he voices them quietly, tearfully, “What if we change too much? What if we forget each other?”

It’s at this that Minseok sounds unsure, “Is. Is this what this is about? Do you, do you not want to wait for me? Will it be too hard?”

And Chanyeol realizes he’s fucking up, and he’s doing exactly what he didn’t want to do, making Minseok worry, and he says, rushed, “No. No, I will wait for you for however long, you’re my  _ love, _ it’s just hard.”

He sniffs, tries to reel back his tears, feeling a little stupid for complaining so much, and he says quietly, “I’m sorry. I’m being dramatic over nothing, and making you worry.”

“If it worries you, then it’s not nothing,” Minseok tells him, reassures him in the way only he can. With so much understanding, and love overflowing for them both.

Chanyeol gives in, reaches out to him, and Minseok takes him, embraces him. Lets him melt in his arms and take his warmth, his strength, all the reassurance he craves and needs. Minseok comforts him, and Chanyeol does what he can, silently comforting him in turn. 

Minseok tells him quietly, “It will change us. You never really come out completely the same. But do you trust that you will always remain the most beautiful thing in my life, and I will always want to come back to you?”

Chanyeol’s chest hurts, the words beautiful and too much for him, and he says between tears, “I’ll try. I’ll try to believe you.”

“You must,” Minseok says, and his smile in itself is comforting, a balm for Chanyeol and his heart. “I believe in you. I always have.”

It’s overwhelming, so much to feel, and Chanyeol doesn’t know where to begin. “How will I do this?” he asks, wanting to do his best for both of them, and Minseok kisses him gently.

“Remember, that if you miss me, I am missing you too,” Minseok tells him. His voice is so soft, quiet, just for the both of them to share. “I’m not that far away. Every thought of me you have, I have many more for you. Wherever I am, I am always thinking of you. Thinking and wanting to come back to you, the soonest I can.”

Chanyeol begins to cry anew, and they’re the loveliest, gentlest words. Like the softest touch of the morning between them, just theirs. It hurts, but he is comforted, assured.

“I don’t know if it will comfort you, but please wait for me,” Minseok tells him, and Chanyeol will.

“Then we have a comeback,” he says, trying to be brighter, and Minseok gives him a smile. Knowing, understanding.

“Alright. As many times you want to come back.”

Chanyeol leans up, pressing their lips together. One more, for the road, before he leaves, “I’ll visit you soon.”

“Okay,” Minseok says, kissing him again. “But not too often, okay? Don’t pause for me, please work, make music, whether for you, or for the group, or for someone else. I want to turn on the TV here and see your beautiful face and beautiful words.”

“I will do my best,” he says. Means it, truly, this time.

Minseok smiles at him, and he doesn’t say anything, nor does he need to. 

Things are hard, but in the end. Things will be good.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading, I greatly, lovingly appreciate it. 
> 
> me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/myeonniexiu)


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